Archived,  Being Berrak

Just A Spoonful of Nutella

I can’t even tell you how many times I logged into my blog, re-read my old posts, looked at the drafts and then just closed the tab. Because life has been overwhelming, both good and bad, and I didn’t know where to begin.

I promised myself I would never apologize for dealing with life the way I do.

I’m not perfect. I make a lot of bad decisions in the way I choose to deal with things. Sometimes I get hurt. Sometimes I hurt people around me. Sometimes, I apologize for being human when I shouldn’t have to.

Sometimes, I’m human.

Go figure, huh?

But I do miss writing. I miss connecting with you guys. I miss reading blogs and seeing what’s going on in your lives, interacting and connecting in increments that are longer than 140 character snapshots flying by as I take quick breathers.

I’ve been blogging in some way for over a decade now. Blogging helped me get through my first couple of years of college, when I felt stuck as the rest of the world was moving on. Blogging helped me grow up, connect and be friends with people around the country (and the world). Blogging helped me find my voice.

With that voice, I wrote. And writing…well, writing helped me chase down and catch some of my dreams. (Also, if you could do me a huge favor and give my new Writer page a ‘Like’ on FB, I would really really appreciate it.)

The first 6 months of my move to Seattle were tumultuous.  You can read a bit more about that Leap of Faith and what went wrong over at Sweatpants & Coffee. (Oh and you should really check us out. Because S&C is one of the families that helped me get through the last year.)

Everything started turning around in June. I got an offer for a job that would challenge me and take me to the next level. I always said that I would go back to an office for the right job, as long as it would propel me forward in my career. I still have my business and freelance clients, and I have big plans for where my business is going in 2014. The creativity and the ambition never dies down, folks. Sometimes, life just blows out my tires and slows me down enough to avoid destroying everything I’ve built so far. I’ll tell you more about the job later, but let’s just say when I wake up with anxiety and going to the office calms me down, that’s a beautiful thing.

As far as life, well, that started turning around too. Once I started coming out of the depression and began standing on my own two feet again, I could explore and experience Seattle the way I meant to when I first moved out here. I’m glad I didn’t give up on the city (and the coast, really), because it’s brought me beautiful friendship, experiences and a new perspective on life.

Most of all, it’s shown me that I can succeed out of my comfort zone.

It’s shown me that I made the right decision by betting on myself.

There’s no formula for getting through the shitstorm of your life. No right or wrong answers, because I certainly made the wrong decisions at times. You just have to appreciate the little things when you can. Sometimes it’s a beautiful sunset. Sometimes it’s a first kiss. Maybe it’s a spoonful of Nutella when you need a midnight snack. Maybe…maybe it’s just cat pictures and friends hugging you (virtually or really).  Sometimes, it’s just a nap in the middle of marathon-watching Friends.

No matter what it is, I’ve always tried to appreciate the little things, even on my darkest days.

And that’s honestly all the advice I can give about that.

Appreciate the small things, forgive yourself and don’t underestimate the power of a Buzzfeed list full of poignant GIFS, no matter how silly they may seem. Because once in a while, you just need to know that someone out there in the world understands.

So, I’m back. Sort of. We’ll see.

Because, guys, I have SO MUCH to tell you about. I mean, all the shows coming back, all the cons I’m going to, all the opinions I have, and of course, actual updates on my life. It is beautiful,  I’m blessed and I want to go back to sharing the good, the bad and sometimes, the ugly, with you.

Speaking of which…I missed you. A ton. Tell me 3 things I should know about your life in 2013. 

And go.


  • Naomi Slater

    Three things you should know about my life in 2013:
    1. I have learned to be 100% unapologetic about who I am and what I like, its so freeing.
    2. Happiness and love are things that start from the inside out
    3. It doesnt matter what you are doing or where you are, if you arent happy with who you are with, you are going to have a bad time.


    • Berrak

      You’re wise beyond your years, darling. I didn’t figure all that out until I was a little older than you are now.

      I am so glad we found our way into each other’s lives. You’re a wonderful friend and I see our friendship growing exponentially <3

  • Lilly

    I just discovered your blog so no need to explain your absence to me! But anyway. Amen, sister. There is no one way to deal with life. You deal with it your own way, so long as you’re dealing with it, right? And I know what you mean about the GIFs. I have a picture of a French bulldog puppy from Pinterest that I look at whenever I’m stressing and it makes me happy again. Glad I found your blog!

  • AC

    1. I’m learning to rewalk after having my leg surgically broken and ankle rotated and then having a nail driven through my tibia. 2. I have a dog named Moose. 3. I love Harry Potter.