Being Berrak

2014 – The Year of the Penguin

That’s what I named my album for 2014 on Facebook. I had no idea what my year or life would be like. I certainly didn’t expect my life to look like what it does now. I was trying to figure out what to write on here for my end of year post. I thought about recapping or doing a picture post.

I thought about what I could say when words have failed me for so many months. 2013 was a shitshow. 2013 was the year of hitting absolute rock bottom. 2014, though?

It was pivotal. It was the year I let go – and the things that were clinging on to me finally let go of me. Or maybe I finally had the strength to kick them off. I can never be too sure.

2014 was the year the Universe decided that I needed a big “A-ha” moment about my life and my career. The Universe tapped at my door in January and said “Hey, look, I know it’s been rough and you’re feeling stuck but…it was all worth it. I promise.”

In 2014, my impostor syndrome officially went into remission. It peeks its head out once in a while on bad days, but I’ve grown to love my job, my team and most of all, my own perseverance so much.

As I entered the last year of my 20s, I decided to step out of the shadows.

I said “Yes.”

I hit the road because I wanted to.

I took chances and I let others take a chance on me.

I laughed – a lot. I made memories. I fell in love with Seattle over and over again. I made new friends. I wore my heart on my sleeve and my true friends showed me that they would be gentle with it even when I’m not at times.

I finally met a penguin in real life and completely made a fool out of myself.

I continued to strip away my layers and shared it with the world.

I stopped looking for my tribe.

I tried to be as kind as possible – to myself and to others.

I let go of expectations. I let go of the fear that I should start fitting into a box.

I let go of waiting for perfection.

I just let go – and allowed the world to let go of me when it was time.


Well, 2015 will be the year of the #DirtyThirty. Beyond that, I have no resolutions – no expectations.

Just more of the same ridiculousness.

Happy 2015, my loves. I hope to see more of you on this blog and around the interwebs (and in real life when possible).