Being Berrak,  Birthdays

This Is 31

I turned into a drunk pumpkin at midnight on my birthday. 

It was, by far, the best birthday celebration of my life. My best friend of 16 years flew in from North Carolina. My brother was there (MY BROTHER LIVES HERE NOW). The wonderful guy I’d only been dating for a few weeks was, well, wonderful. I invited my friends to my favorite bar because I knew that I would get overwhelmed if I had another house party.

I built in an escape plan to my own birthday party.

It was pretty spectacular.

I even had a customized SnapChat geofilter. Could I be more of a social media nerd?


Around midnight, I looked at N and told him to take me home. I was tired. I was still somewhat coherent and the shots were starting to really kick in. (Guys, there were a lot of shots.)

30 minutes more and my night would end with throwing up. I didn’t want that. So I turned into a drunk pumpkin. My brother and a few of my friends stayed to keep celebrating. That made me happy.

Since then, every day of 31 has been an awesome adventure.

I haven’t done any traveling, which is really weird considering I spent most of 2015 on the road. Instead, I’ve been focusing on my life in Seattle and rediscovering this amazing city.

I’ve been spending time with my brother and his girlfriend.

I’ve been figuring out how to be in a healthy relationship. My boyfriend even tried to get me to go running. It was a valiant effort (but no thanks.) I’ve been hiking.

I’ve taken way too many pictures of my cat. (My SnapChat is basically the Farrah show).

I’ve literally stopped to smell the roses.

I chopped my hair off.

I’ve been focusing on pivoting my thinking as far as my career. I’m an entrepreneur, and it’s time to start thinking like one. That began with me confessing to being a failure.

I haven’t been writing as much. Or at all? I’ve written for clients and for my business blog, but guys, I’m really struggling with my personal one. It’s not because I don’t have a lot to share – it’s just that I’m having a writer’s dilemma. Do I pitch my stories to different publications to reach a wider audience or do I keep blogging on here? I don’t even know how many of you read this blog anymore.

So, this is 31.

It does have its up and downs. This past week, for example, depression reared its ugly head even though things literally couldn’t be better in my life. It’s always a fun reminder that depression is a constant liar.

So, I’m taking it one day a time.

It’s been a pretty fantastic ride so far. I just have no idea where to go next.

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