As I type this blog, my brother is in his car, somewhere in Illinois, making the big drive to Seattle. In the car is his girlfriend and puppy (OK, big puppy who’s a full-grown, 7 year old husky). A few hours ago, I picked up the keys to their new apartment and did the move-in inspection.
“You guys must be close,” the leasing agent told me.
We are. My brother is my whole world. Being on the other side of the country from him for the past 3 years have been the most difficult part of being in Seattle. When they visited me last June, all I wanted was for him to fall in love with Seattle the way I did.
He did. They did. The conversation about their move began. Just like there was a part of that feared that I would never actually get to leave DC, there’s always been a part of me that feared they wouldn’t actually move.
BUT HERE THEY ARE.
I’m having anxiety about it. Mainly because of the drive and I probably won’t sleep much until they get here. The second part of the anxiety is something I didn’t expect.
I have spent most of my brother’s adult life away from him. I’ve built a life for myself, a life I want him to be a part of, and I want him to build a life for himself here.
I’m a little terrified about how we’re going to adjust. When we’ve hung out and talked on the phone, my brother and I, as adults, have gotten closer. He is my best friend.
He’s literally the most important person in my life.
I’m told I should be the most important person in my life.
I…well, that’s a bigger issue I won’t get in to here.
My brother is finally starting his life on a path that makes sense for him. He’s finally doing it within a 15 minute drive from me instead of a 6 hour plane ride.
The point is that I am excited. I am ecstatic. I am a nervous wreck.
I’m looking forward to building an even stronger relationship with my brother, but sometimes, I can’t help but wish for the days I could just pick him up and protect him from the world.