Posted on 10 Comments on [Reverb10] Moment

[Reverb10] Moment

There’s a reason I haven’t written about my October New York trip. There were no words to capture the feeling I had when I was walking those streets. Sure, I could’ve talked about how excited I was, and how I loved the chaos and the pretty sights but it would’ve felt empty.

Then came today’s #Reverb10 prompt: Moment. Pick one moment during which you felt most alive this year. Describe it in vivid detail (texture, smells, voices, noises, colors)

I’ve been wanting to visit New York for a long time and in my mind, I was afraid that the reality wouldn’t live up to how I imagined I would feel.

When my bus rolled into the city at 7:30 a.m. on a Saturday morning, as exhausted as I was, I felt alive. Walking the streets for the first time, I had a strange sense of direction.

I felt home.

The noises of a city waking up surrounding me, I knew that I wanted to listen to that every day.  Walking to and through Central Park, I was in the middle a city that has made millions feel alive, even through the television screen but it was different for me.

There is only one other place in the world that can make me feel like I belong and that is Istanbul.

New York is as close to home as it will get.

The way the streets felt under my feet.

From the smells from the delis and the vendor carts combined perfectly to chatter of those around me to the sights that filled my vision.

When your home is an ocean away, you long for that feeling of belonging.  You search it in every part of the city you live in and you make a home for yourself the best way you know how.  There is nothing that compares to the feeling I have when the plane touches ground in Istanbul.

For the first time in 15 years, however, New York City gave me a hint of that feeling.

The organized chaos of New York made me feel alive for the first time in a very long time this year and I can’t wait to be back there in 2 weeks, taking every moment in and continuing to search for the words to describe the overwhelming calm washing over me.

[You can find these pictures & others at my Etsy shop]

Posted on 9 Comments on [Reverb10] One Word

[Reverb10] One Word

2010 was all about growth.

growthphoto © 2008 Charlie Ambler | more info (via: Wylio)

In 2010, I took one [or ten] step closer to becoming the woman I want to be.  When I look back at my life 20 years from now, I want to be proud of my life, my accomplishments and my gradual growth as a person.  Sometimes, the growth isn’t so gradual.  Life throws you curveballs that force you into an emotional growth spurt and you hope that you make it out of the other side with minimal damage.

This year was all about taking the power back in my life.  I grew emotionally by allowing myself to fall in love and experience the growing pains of a relationship.

I grew out of friendships and allowed myself to be OK with that.  I learned that it is OK to let people go in your life because sometimes, your life just goes in a different direction. Not everyone in my life will grow in the same direction as me and it’s important to acknowledge that so I don’t stunt my own growth. I took the power back in my own life by learning to be selfish.

I finally grew out of my pen name and began using my real name with my writing.  I grew strong enough to own my life.

2010 was the year I learned to love my city, my challenges and the risks I’ve taken in order to move forward.

In 2010, I grew enough to let myself be happy.

2011?

That will be the year of fulfillment.  Every step I took this year will lead to a fulfilling year.  I will be fulfilled in my education, my career and my writing.  I will live my life to the fullest, every step of the way.

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This December I am participating in Reverb 10. Today’s prompt was: Encapsulate the year 2010 in one word. Explain why you’re choosing that word. Now, imagine it’s one year from today, what would you like the word to be that captures 2011 for you?

Reverb 10 (#reverb10) is now an annual event, an inspired response to (and evolution of) #best09. It’s an open online initiative that encourages participants to reflect on this year and manifest what’s next. It’s an opportunity to retreat and consider the reverberations of your year past, and those that you’d like to create in the year ahead. We’re connected by the belief that sharing our stories has the power to change us. We look forward to reading yours.