Friday Treat: A Poem from the Reject Pile

So, this is one of the poems I wrote years ago that didn’t make it to the final draft of my book (Surprise surprise), but it makes me laugh and I had promised some people I would share it. Needless to say, this was written during a drama-filled time in my life.

But hey, we’ve all been there, right?

Now I can look back and laugh about it.

Read more Friday Treat: A Poem from the Reject Pile

My Very First EBook: A Distorted Dream and Other Works

In 6th grade, my English teacher opened up an entire new world to me with just a prompt. Our assignment was to write a poem completing each prompt. The first line began with “I am…”

Up until that moment, poetry was  just something I read. I grew up reading “If” by Rudyard Kipling in Turkish, and then in English when we moved to the US, not to mention all of my favorite poems in Turkish. That day in 6th grade, I realized I could also write poems.

Granted, they were crappy poems, but I got better. In high school, I found spoken word poetry, though I never had the guts to do it myself. I went through high school writing ridiculous poems such as “First Kiss” (Because I was in high school when…I had…OK, moving on) and other teenage angst filled poems.

In my late teens and early 20s was when I really got into my poetry and started to branch out as far as stanzas and imagery. Granted, a lot of it was pretty doom and gloom and emo. Then I got a little sassy and you can see my attitude problem coming through the lines.

The last time I wrote a poem was years ago. This past year, I made it a personal goal to get back into poetry and eventually try my hand at spoken word. To do that, I went back and re-read some of my older poems, discovering that while most of them were crap, there are a few that I’d like to share with the world.

A Distorted Dream is the first short story I was ever able to finish, and it took me approximately two years to complete. The poems that follow in the book were selected from all of the poetry that I have kept. These words should give you a little more insight into who I was back then and the demons I had to fight in order to move forward. They’re not all bad, though. A couple of the poems in the second section will show you the hopeful side of me, and the third section?

Well, let that be a surprise.

What happened to the poems that didn’t make it into this book? Well, they’re sitting in a reject pile, ready to be put into a book of their own. If I hit 150 sales with this book, then I will release a free PDF that will include brilliant works such as “Etch-a-Sketch Bitch”.

You can download the PDF version of my very first EBook for $4.99 using the link below.

That’s a cheap price to pay for an intimate look into my soul.

Oh, is this where I mention that the third section is erotica?  (Sex sells or something?)

Add to Cart

CARELESSLY

I decided a long time ago that I wouldn’t post any of my poems on here but I came across this one and I just felt the need to share it. It was the first couple of lines that drew my attention and made me chuckle…so there you go. This is from May 27, 2008

Carelessly

The predictability
Of your stupidity
Amuses endlessly
In a way that grows
Exponentially
With each action
Implicitly
Without even saying
“I’m sorry”
You mess up aimlessly
As if you don’t care
About our moments
Privately
You don’t deserve me
Unconditionally
Keep this up to get
A “Fuck you”
Exclusively.

-Copyright 2010

Photo by: Tara Roberts as featured on Indie Ink

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Perfect Fool (Poetry)

(Originally written May, 2007)

Bowing to your every demand
Fulfilling your needs
You want the perfect girl.
I’m not her.

You’ll push her away
Stripping her of dignity
To use her love,
You want a fool.

Strong but obedient,
Weak but confident,
You want a paradox
I’m not her.

She’ll smile in public,
While you degrade her
A perfect woman is quiet
Unless she’s moaning your name.

Find the perfect girl you desire,
Hold on for dear life.
Make no mistake about it,
I’m not your trophy wife.

*****

Today is Charli’s birthday…Miss Lil Wicked…Go wish her a happy birthday!!!!!!!!!!!

Void of Irrelevance (Poetry)

(Copyright 2008)

You know the place between fulfillment and irrelevance?

I’m sort of there right now.

When I can let go of my insecurities,
I’m really not a person that cares about material things.
When I strip away my need for attention,
all I really want is some intimate conversation
and inside jokes with friends.
What I want out of life is peace and serenity,
while making a difference.
I want every step I take to leave an impact,
even if it’s just in my life.
I want there to be laughter and sharing but
I don’t want that laughter to be in vain.

I just feel like I’m in this void where
I’m surrounded by a sea of irrelevance
Without knowing
if I have the strength to rise above it or
if I’ll get swept up in the waves.

The Lonely Fool (Poetry)

Let’s forge a friendship
You & I
Based on lies
Infidelity
To bury
Our insecurities
At the exposure
Of others’ demons
To feel superior
While in denial
Of the truth
In our reality.
Hiding away
In fake laughter.
Feeling higher
Through spewing
Condescending
Daggers
Into the vulnerability
Of our mutual fear.
Our facade is thin
Yet strong enough
To make us believe
That we are fooling
Those that we cause tears.
Reality hits as we stand
Alone & afraid
As the only fool
Stares back
From a cracked mirror.

**I wrote this last year…Just thought I’d share. I’m hoping to get back into writing poetry soon…I can feel the fire burning…Hopefully you guys enjoyed this! Do leave feedback…I know sometimes people aren’t sure if they should leave feedback on a poem or not…I want REACTIONS…because that’s what poetry is about…reaction.

Much love.**

PS: I’ll be out of the office at an all day meeting till about 4:00 today so I’ll get to your blogs later on.

If I Had One Wish (Poetry)

If I had one wish,
I’d wish for some cotton candy
So I can let that inner child out to play
Out of hiding, out of the darkness of my past.

If it would make a difference,
I’d want to go back and wipe away the tears…
All those tears that flowed endlessly
During the nights, the days and the dreams in between.

If I had one wish,
I’d wish for one chance to go back
So I can tell that little girl to keep hoping
It will get better with each fight.

If I could ease her pain,
I’d stroke her hair in the night
As her face hurt from the strikes
The scars in her heart even deeper underneath.

If I thought it would be better
I’d go back to take away the pain…
But then I wonder…
Would I be as strong without surviving?

One Crack Too Many (Poetry)

There she stands in front of the mirror
And there’s another crack.
She blames the mirror but she knows…
The mirror is perfect and the image is cracked.

Like a doll tossed one too many times
She’s been cracking under pressure
Like any doll taken out of its safe haven
She’s no longer immune to harsh weather

She was brought home years ago
With her perfect blond hair
Shiny blue eyes behind a perfect skin
Untainted, unbroken, untouchable

As her eyes began to change color
They began to lose light, blurred
By a never ending pool
Of tears too afraid to fall

A crack here and there
She never looked in the mirror
Ashamed of what she’d see
Blaming her scars on the girl inside

She’s tainted, slapped
She’s broken, tossed aside
She’s ashamed, no longer pure
She’s falling apart, one crack at a time.

The glue was her heart
Love. Compassion. Patience.
She became whole
Except for her smile.

One crack remained, leaving her smile broken
Foolish enough to not fix it
She thought she’d be cruisin by
Not realizing her heart was falling apart.

She looks in the mirror
The cracks overwhelming
Piece by piece, falling down
Where is her glue now?

**I wrote this in November of 2007…I think the crack is finally healing but once in a while…**

The Game (Poetry)

(Just posting one of my favorite poems…Don’t read too much into it…LOL)

Lie to me
With your crooked smile
Fake twinkle in your eyes
Deceive me.

Seduce me
Lick your lips gently
Whisper your lines
Fulfill me.

Play me.
Planning to leave
Toy with my heart
Fool me.

Keep me
Hanging on
While you play.
Lead me.

Love me
Your heart is weak.
Fall into my eyes
Worship me.

Watch me
Walking away
As I take your heart
Ache for me.

You tried me
My patience ran out.
Now tell me
Was the game worth it?

(Copyright 2008)

Let Me Fly (Poetry)

I feel the winds knocking on our door
Have you come to take me away?
I’ve been waiting for you
With my broken wings…

I can’t fly away though I try
I’m bloody and bruised
They may have hurt my bones
But never my stride…my pride.

Will you take me away?
Just give me a lift to a place
I can heal without the world
Weighing down on the bloody wings.

I’m still an angel underneath
Ready to heal, to teach, to guide
My soul can’t do it alone
Clean up my blood and help me…

Let me fly.