Unplugging to Breathe

I completely disconnected. I turned my phone off, laid down on the beach towel and let the sun take me away as if I was floating above the waves hitting the shore…even though I am still afraid to go in the water. No really…I got as far as my ankles, looked at my dad and said “I’m…cold. Yeah. You have fun.” Almost drowning does that to a person.*

The forecast predicted rain but it was the perfect day to escape. A book, a towel, an iPod & me (Oh and my family). There was also an unexpected addition to my day. A gorgeous baby** about 15 feet from me…beautiful baby boy who was so serene and so innocent that I allowed myself to get lost in his breathing. The rest of the world didn’t matter.

It was my day to unplug.

So unplug I did***

I didn’t think about work, school or money. I didn’t think about heartbreak, betrayal and let-downs. I didn’t think about responsibilities, fuck-ups or hopelessness.

I thought about the ocean. The sun. Keeping hydrated. The book I was re-reading (The Time Traveler’s Wife). I thought about making sure my tan was even this time. I thought about the way the baby smiled.

I didn’t worry about my past or my future. I was only in the present. Right in that moment, on the sand, wondering how much of it was going to end up in places the sun don’t shine and whether or not I wanted ice cream.

I imagined myself on the beach on the Mediterranean though if I was there, I’d be floating in the calm water instead of just the sand. But it’s OK. The serenity was still there. I did what I thought I was incapable of doing.

I let go.

I figured out what has been weighing down on me…the way I let things get to me…Why I let things get to me the way they did and why I broke down.

One day of escape won’t solve my problems. Not by a long shot…but it helped. It reminded me that I can do it.

Let go.

I just have to allow myself the opportunity more often.

Then I got home and talked to my roommates about pooping.****

“‘But don’t you think,’ I persist, ‘that it’s better to be extremely happy for a short while, even if you lose it, than to be just okay for your whole life?’” The Time Traveler’s Wife

Plans I made after unplugging:

— I am going to JOIN a gym. Yes, there’s a free one in my work building but you know what free means to me? No motivation. I need motivation hence I am joining WSC. If you belong there, lemme know. Maybe we can, like, totally work out together. TOTALLY.

— I am going to look for a class to take in the fall…Either at GW or online at NoVa if I can’t find a class that fits my schedule and major at GW. Hello brain stimulation.

— I am going to DANCE. Whenever the mood hits. And possibly take classes.

— I am going to get that second job.

— I am going to get started on my projects that I have been talking and talking about. FOCUS.

— I’m going to make quality time for those that matter…unwind…and do those things I’ve been wanting to do with my girlfriends (Like visit the monuments at night)

— I am going to remember why I matter…and why the words of the ones that don’t truly care shouldn’t matter.

— I’m going to follow through and get help. Even if it’s baby steps. Even if I’m terrified.

— I will remember to breathe.

*The family doesn’t know about that little episode so I opted to look like a p**sy afraid of a little chilly water.
**Hello biological clock and baby fever.
***I may have checked my email once and may have replied to an email from Lexa.
****Seriously…one of the best parts about my day is talking to my roommates about pooping. True story.

When was the last time you let go and unplugged?

45 thoughts on “Unplugging to Breathe

    1. I believe that belongs to the email I sent to you guys, not here.

      kthnxbai.

      Love you.

      Reply

        1. There’s LIFE to do list.

          And then there’s webmaster to do list. (The email)

          I get confused. Don’t mix the two up.

          Does this look like the face of someone who can figure out what goes where if things are mixed up?

          Do I look smart to you? I didn’t think so.

          Reply

          1. Smarter than me.

            Though that’s not saying much.

            *ducks*

  1. Last time I unplugged was today. I was feeling zombified after the botched root canal attempt….and the pain meds. I crashed on my couch and didn’t talk, mail or do anything until much later tonight. So, I totally unplugged, however unintentionally, for over 12 hours.

    I fully intend to unplug this weekend when I visit Cassie. I know she does not have internet at home, so it should be easy!

    P.S. Can’t wait to see The Time Travelers Wife in three weeks.

    Reply

    1. Awww…I’m jealous that you get to see Cassie!

      PS: When I saw the trailer for it, I fell in love and HAD to get the book.

      Reply

  2. My roomate is a dog so I don’t talk about pooping, I just clean hers up on walks. Also, sometimes I wipe her klingons off. I just say “you have poopy bum” and she turns around and lets me rip those little turds right off her little bum. She’s well trained.

    Although a buddy of mine once destroyed my bathroom so bad Febreze gave me a free can of deodorizer. True story.
    .-= Mike´s last blog ..A Use for the Morbidly Obese! =-.

    Reply

    1. After moving into this house, I discovered something called Poopourri. You spray it before you poop and voila. No stinky.

      Reply

  3. I love the honesty you have in your writing. I’m glad you got away and unplugged, felt good didn’t it? I love when I have a day (or more to do that). I plan on unplugging next week for at least two or more days in a row, truth be told I can’t wait.

    I hope you achieve all your goals, somehow I know you will.

    Reply

    1. Why hello stranger.

      What’s this I hear about you being in my end of the woods next week?

      Reply

  4. I am really looking forward to my road trip next week, because when left alone I am really comfortable with myself. In fact I totally miss surfing. Being out in the water alone, just you and nature, it is epic. I do have to admit, the gym is in my future as well.
    .-= justjp´s last blog ..Who would play you? =-.

    Reply

        1. Oh you don’t wanna chill with me alone huh? I see how it is.

          Reply

  5. unplugging is good for the soul. Just remember when getting into what you want to accomplish that there are times that are needed to just decompress and just BE. too much running will give ya ulcers! lol

    Reply

    1. Oh my god, you have NO idea. Just driving back home made my stomach upset last night…lol

      Reply

      1. yes, I do have an idea….trust me, y’all that know me think I have a temper…come around me when I’ve been cooped up for a month or so….NOT A PRETTY SIGHT!!! and not someone you would choose to be around!

        Reply

          1. I do my best not too get cooped up, but with rain and needing to get shit done at the property……………

    1. Yeah…I’ve been doing it more at home…Reading at night instead of being online.

      Reply

  6. I don’t think that I ever completely unplug. My phone is always on because the few times I have turned it off I’ve gotten emergency phone calls. It scares me to think of people not being able to reach me when they need me.

    Reply

  7. ironically, i was pretty unplugged @ blogher. my phone didn’t work in the hotel, and i hadn’t brought a computer, so i spent 4 days only getting online very occasionally. which was, uh, NOT the norm there…!
    .-= Alice´s last blog ..requisite clunky blogher post =-.

    Reply

  8. Unplugging is definitely a good thing. We forget to do it and get so wrapped up in our little electronic devices that we end up not looking up and seeing what’s around us.

    Great post.

    Reply

  9. I’ve been doing a lot of unplugging lately, though I wish I got to do your brand of beach unplugging more. I’m finding that the 3 days a week I go for a run after work or for a long run on Saturday is when I let go of the most. Just me and my music, counting off the miles. It’s become such a great way to destress this summer, that I don’t know how I would be able to survive the massive amount of things on my plate without it. I just discovered that spending 8 hours on a plane will force you to unplug too. I read 3 books while I was flying alone last week on vacay, and started a fourth: The Time Traveler’s Wife. I’m so happy you enjoyed it! It’s my second read of it and I’m just as enchanted by it this time around.
    .-= Rachel´s last blog ..hel-lo luvahs! =-.

    Reply

    1. One of my favorite times, as much as I hate flying, is flying to Turkey. 14 hours on the plane and I can’t sleep on planes…So I go through books like no other. I sort of miss that.

      Yeah, I’m going to start going to the gym and eventually start running outside once I feel confident enough. I’ve been unplugging at home more lately too…I need to recharge, in a sense and I can only do that by taking away the distractions.

      And YES. We all have to go see the movie together for sure!

      Reply

  10. I like to unplug quite often. Sometimes it irks my friends if I don’t answer my phone every single time they call or text, but I need time to myself. If I don’t get enough “me” time, I generally get sick. Not really sick physically but like I want to crawl under a rock and hide from everyone, I get really anti-social. I love spending time with myself, sometimes I just don’t get how some of my best friends don’t grasp this concept yet. dear lord, I’ve completely babbled in your comments! LOL! :O)
    .-= Lauren ´s last blog ..Weakest Link =-.

    Reply

  11. You said one day won’t solve your problems, but that one day definitely put you in a certain direction toward doing so. That’s awesome and amazing hun. Clearly that day was needed. I’m glad you got it.
    .-= MinD´s last blog ..Ripped from the Headlines: Vol. 3 =-.

    Reply

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