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Snapshots from My Life AKA Overheard FTW

(Don’t forget to like my new writer fan page on FB please!)

“But did you really just (publicly) rebrand a 1400 year old tradition as…“sobermonth?”

“I did. I was having a moment.”


Planning dates is interesting when I’m not drinking.

“Congrats on the job. Can I buy you a drink to celebrate?”
“Thanks. You can buy me…coffee to celebrate.”



K: “I need your favorite Friends episode and…go.”
Me: “That’s like asking a mother to name her favorite child.”


“Why did they substitute him in?”
“Must be his royal penis.”


“I like how my chest is 3 different shades. I win at tanning.”

“Shut up, it’s ombre.”


‘Do you know how many ADHD kids it takes to screw in a lightbulb?’
‘How ma-‘
‘Wanna go ride bikes?’


“I’m a woman on a mission.”

“And that mission is?”
“To slap you.”




“You don’t take someone from DC to a museum. That’s like taking someone from Hawaii to the beach.”


Also, here’s a picture of Jensen Ackles with a Hello Kitty balloon hat.

You’re welcome.



{ 1 comment… add one }
  • AC June 2, 2015, 7:58 am

    This is what it is like to be in my head.

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