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Say What? Wednesdays: IM Edition

I should come with a disclaimer. Any IM, e-mail or phone conversation you will have with me can be used for blogging purposes. Hell, ANY interaction you have with me may be used for blogging purposes. In certain cases, your name will be changed to protect the innocent. Since none of you are innocent, this won’t happen very often.

January/February, 2007: My roomie and I go WAY back. PS: He did email me back but we never went out. I think he was scared of my dad.

PQ: damn it. now im horny
C-Pants: welcome to my world
PQ: i dont like your world
PQ: i think we need to bring channing tatum into this world
PQ: and make him my sex slave
C-Pants: go right ahead!
PQ: ill settle for his lookalike if the fucker emails me back
C-Pants: he better have a good excuse
PQ: starting his business might kinda pass
PQ: if im in a good mood
PQ: and he asks me out right away
C-Pants: and says hey lets do it after i buy you dinner
PQ: right
PQ: i cant be too eager
PQ: so we’ll get drive thru mcd
C-Pants: what and just like…hop on his dick and start riding?
PQ: After he finishes eating, sure
C-Pants: ah i see your strategy
C-Pants: get his energy up first
C-Pants: make sure he eats carbs for that
C-Pants: pasta
PQ: good call
PQ: he IS white
C-Pants: hope his wee wee is an agreeable size
PQ: so do i
PQ: if not, that’ll be a damn shame
PQ: unless hes REALLY good at giving
PQ: then i can compromise
C-Pants: haha
C-Pants: or just look at it and be like
C-Pants: well thanks for dinner!
PQ: Call me in the summer
C-Pants: later pencil dick!
PQ: maybe the weather will help
PQ: and people say i never give white guys a chance
PQ: please
C-Pants: hahaha
PQ: it aint my fault i dont wanna go on a scavenger hunt before sex
C-Pants: that could be interpreted in many ways lol
C-Pants: like if he was morbidly obese
PQ: or didnt trim
C-Pants: have you seen your dick lately? cuz neither have i!
PQ: are you SURE you have one
C-Pants: wait i found it!
C-Pants: shit
C-Pants: that was just an old carrot
PQ: what the fuck is a carrot doing in there
C-Pants: yeah
C-Pants: even i cringed
PQ: you’re so nasty
PQ: oh this convo is so blog worthy
C-Pants: don’t you dare lol
PQ: hehehehehe
C-Pants: i’ll dent everything
C-Pants: i mean uh
C-Pants: deny
PQ: yeah. def blog worthy now


3/23/09 — My specialty…Conversations in conversations.

Sarah: SCORE
Sarah: B-1 C-NYET
Wicked: who is this sarah anyway
Wicked: talkin shit like she KNOWS this bitch
PQ: Sarah.
PQ: You loser
Wicked: oh
Wicked: well how come WE dont IM
Wicked: i am pouting
Wicked: officially
Sarah: Hahahahha
Sarah: “Actin like she know a bitch”
Sarah: OMG I needed that
Sarah: Why you be axin like you KNOW someone
Sarah: YOU don’t know me
Sarah: oh yeah you do
Sarah: whoops
Sarah: HI!!!!!!!!!
PQ: axin
Sarah: OMG, I think I just laughed myself a hernia
PQ: talk to her before she throws a fit
Sarah: hissy diverted
PQ: PQ: i gave her your IM
Wicked: you bettah HAD
Sarah: dont make her axin again dammit

5/5/09 — I can’t wait to call him this on the streets of DC to give him more street cred.

PQ: I have this weird urge to call you Timmy
Tim: go with it
Tim: everyone else does
PQ: hmm. we’ll see. I don’t like being like everyone else
Tim: how bout royal jelly
Tim: no one calls me that
PQ: do you WANT to be called that
Tim: eh
Tim: i could get used to it
PQ: what about Pookie
Tim: I’d rather have pookie
Tim: how bout smokey
PQ: Hmm. No
PQ: I think I like Pookie
Tim: ok, Pookie it is
PQ: suhweet
PQ: I’m contemplating changing your name in my phone. lol
Tim: hahaha
Tim: ok, princess
PQ: uh uh…THE Princess, thank you very much
Tim: thats right

*I still think Jigglypuff would’ve been awesome*

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