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[Reverb10] Lesson Learned

I learned a lot of lessons during 2010 but the most important one was about competition.

The only person worth competing with is myself.

The only way I can measure success is by defining it myself and then working to live up to and exceed my goals.

Once you start looking around and start measuring yourself against other people, you will lose sight of what’s important.

There are a lot of self-righteous people out there who will make themselves seem important by belittling you.  There are a lot of people in your field, the field you want to be in, the career you want, at your work place, in your neighborhood, in your friend circle…

Stop competing with them.

Me? Personally, I haven’t finished my B.A. yet because I gave up my scholarship and worked full-time and have been working towards finishing it for the past 5 years.  I haven’t given up, and sure, there were times I felt like crap when my friends around me started graduate school. Then I stopped measuring myself up against them and set my own goals.

What was important to me?

Once you start measuring yourself up against other people in any way, you lose yourself and who you really are. You become a shell of the person you are, shrouded in the shadows of other people.

Life isn’t a dick measuring contest.

There are people I have connected with this year who enlighten me. They are successful in their own right and instead of feeling sorry for myself, I engage them in conversation.  I soak up information so I can map out my own success, instead of trying to do exactly what they did.

Life isn’t “one-size fits all.”

That was my big lesson of 2010.

I finally stopped paying attention to other people’s lives and began setting my own goals for my own success.


Today’s prompt: Lesson Learned What was the best thing you learned about yourself this past year? And how will you apply that lesson going forward? (Author: Tara Weaver)

{ 18 comments… add one }
  • Suburban Sweetheart December 17, 2010, 4:24 pm

    Ah, my dear, you are so wise. I’m slowly learning this lesson – I know it’s true, but it’s tough to remind myself of it when I still feel the need to measure up. <3

    • PrincessQ December 17, 2010, 4:28 pm

      Then reach out to me and I’ll remind you 😉

      I didn’t do this alone. I had friends who kept me in check when I started to lose sight of the important stuff. It’s a hard lesson to learn and even I still slip up at times.


  • Shannon December 17, 2010, 5:54 pm

    “Life isn’t a dick measuring contest.”

    Ha! Bravo.

    • PrincessQ December 18, 2010, 11:02 am

      Heh, thanks 🙂

  • mark December 17, 2010, 6:31 pm

    The world would be a nicer place without the dick wavers trying to impress each other and themselves…

    • PrincessQ December 18, 2010, 11:02 am

      It certainly would.

  • Brandi December 17, 2010, 9:35 pm

    Um…a giant YES to this entire post. I have to keep myself in check with not comparing my lack of a degree to my friends’ multiple degrees or whatever the cay may be. I just tell myself, “Dude, shut up. You’re awesome. You got this.”

    And you’re awesome too.

    • PrincessQ December 18, 2010, 11:08 am

      I love that. “Dude, shut up. You are awesome.”

      Yes you are 🙂

  • Deidre December 17, 2010, 11:02 pm

    I think the last one is particularly relevant to me. I always forget that I can change things as I am doing them. That what I am “wearing” right now won’t be the right thing for me in a few months – you know?
    You’re very wise.

    • PrincessQ December 18, 2010, 11:09 am

      I’m not wise…I’ve just learned my lessons the hard way 🙂

      Life is all about change!

  • heavy December 18, 2010, 1:39 am

    Loved this post! The past couple weeks have really made me think good and hard about trying to actually find my own happiness and measuring success for oneself is such an important part of that. Bravo on the post and on learning the lesson.

    • PrincessQ December 18, 2010, 11:09 am

      Thanks and good luck to you!

  • Derek December 18, 2010, 9:35 am

    I love the optimism and energy in your words, but I was hoping for more innuendo too.

    • PrincessQ December 18, 2010, 11:09 am

      Thanks! I try to keep the innuendos to a minimum…haha.

  • Roxanne December 18, 2010, 12:27 pm

    I love the way you highlighted that lesson-learning need not, and should not, be a competitive process. Cheers to that. Happy that reverb10 brought me here, and excited to follow the rest of your reflections!

  • magnolia December 19, 2010, 4:46 pm

    i want “life isn’t a dick measuring context” cross-stitched in a sampler or something. that’s a GREAT line.

  • me December 20, 2010, 1:43 pm

    What did I learn this year? 1. To let go of guilt as a motivating factor for staying in a relationship that wasn’t healthy. 2. Don’t rush into another. 3. How can I tell if I like someone? I crave their company. I shouldn’t spend emotional effort on dudes that don’t light me up inside. 4. I’m more normal than I think. 5. Do what makes the heart sing. 🙂

    Also? I loved the “Life isn’t a dick-measuring contest” <– lol!

  • michelle January 13, 2011, 3:25 pm

    “life isn’t a dick measuring contest” i really wish more people (sometimes, myself included) remembered that on a regular basis

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