Reminding Myself to Stay Afloat

I hate waking up late and getting to work late. It throws my whole day off, puts me in a crummy mood and then makes me want to crawl under the covers…never to leave again.

There are a lot of changes happening in my life and there are days I’m usually not so overwhelmed but then a ‘high’ weekend like this one makes me crash for some reason…because I think that with this much happiness can only be followed by something awful. It’s the mindset I was brought up on…thinking that I don’t deserve this much happiness and karma will catch up with me somehow or another.

My life is changing and I’m changing with it. I just wish my family was on board and I didn’t have to worry about how they might make it hard for me to appreciate my life. Last night was a good night…A normal one. I went home for dinner, watched TV with them and my dad didn’t pester me once about moving back. No sarcastic comments, no snide remarks…Just a good family night. Nights like last night make me want to tell them about the good things going on in my life but then I remember that those nights are the exception and not the rule.

I know I deserve to be happy. I’m working on remembering that everyday. Thankfully I have an amazing boyfriend who doesn’t hesitate to show me how much he cares, awesome friends who accept me for who I am and a boss that is supportive of my education decisions enough to help me prepare for applying to a new school. Yes, I wish I could count on my family but I think I have to learn to count on myself first.

My next step could be entering a short story contest. The topic is “Family Matters”…and my first short story happens to be a pretty dark story regarding family. I’m wondering if it’s too heavy…but I guess I won’t know if I don’t send it in. Once I enter the contest…the next step will be to work on finishing up my book and getting it ready for sale by Thanksgiving.

I just need to focus.

I also hate this whole money issue. Ya know, I’m trying to catch up and there are days I get so frustrated. I haven’t caught a break…and then I see people who catch these random breaks while I have to work so hard to stay afloat…The worst is when they rub it in my face when they know that money is so tight that I’ve resorted to begging everyday for votes for a job that I prob won’t even hit the top 20 for but hey, if by a miracle I do, it could be my big break. I just wish people were considerate. But I guess I forget that it’s every man for himself out there.

What’s going on in your world these days?

I am VERY behind on votes and really really need your help…Pimp me on your blog? Email your friends and family? Put my button on your blog until the voting is over? Keep making me beg?

Remember that you can vote for me EVERYDAY…and if you have different browsers on your computer, you can vote from each! Help me get in the top 20 for a shot dream job! If you want to support me by putting the button on your page, you can get the code when you vote for me. Remember to use the hashtag #berrakthevote on Twitter whenever you mention this!

Good Mood Gig from SAM-e

16 thoughts on “Reminding Myself to Stay Afloat

  1. Hey, you’re not alone on the scratching for money deal…and yes, you will catch a break, even if it’s not this job you want….you will.

    AND…you know where I stand on the sending in the short story…nothing BAD can come from it…NOTHING! Even if you are rejected, you might be able to get some good feedback about it!! SEND THAT BITCH IN!!!!!!

    AND do me a favor, enjoy the good..seriously, the bad can take over some days, I know, but enjoy and accept the good!!!!!

    THERE…my pep speech for the year, next time it will NOT be this pretty!!! LOL


  2. These days I’m trying to adjust to being a married woman without her husband. It’s kind of like I’m not married at all, except for this ring on my finger. For Walter and I nothing has changed, even though everything has changed. That’s what’s going on in my world.

    That and I’m getting laid off in about 7 weeks. What fun! So I’m basically on a spending hold, can’t go out and do anything, but whatever. That’s life.
    .-= Jaime´s last blog ..Mish-mash. =-.


  3. That Alice in Wonderland photo was a nice tough. I promptly made it the background of my work computer. It’s a good reminder that I sometimes need…

    I’m sorry you’re a bit down and worrying about a variety of things. But, “this too shall pass” and hopefully everything will swiftly improve. Maybe some Grace in Small Things would help?
    .-= MinD´s last blog ..Feeling a bit poetic. =-.


  4. i feel like my family holds me back.but thts a whole other story.

    i don’t understand why life has to be an uphill struggle for some of us and a simple walk in the park for others. sometimes i feel like i am constantly fighting and its only the knowledge that there is more for me than this that stops me from lying down and never getting up.

    so honey you keep going. the family may not support you always but remember you have another family in the people who are your friends who will always be there. jst keep going it will get easier for us too.


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