The Game (Poetry)

(Just posting one of my favorite poems…Don’t read too much into it…LOL)

Lie to me
With your crooked smile
Fake twinkle in your eyes
Deceive me.

Seduce me
Lick your lips gently
Whisper your lines
Fulfill me.

Play me.
Planning to leave
Toy with my heart
Fool me.

Keep me
Hanging on
While you play.
Lead me.

Love me
Your heart is weak.
Fall into my eyes
Worship me.

Watch me
Walking away
As I take your heart
Ache for me.

You tried me
My patience ran out.
Now tell me
Was the game worth it?

(Copyright 2008)

Let Me Fly (Poetry)

I feel the winds knocking on our door
Have you come to take me away?
I’ve been waiting for you
With my broken wings…

I can’t fly away though I try
I’m bloody and bruised
They may have hurt my bones
But never my stride…my pride.

Will you take me away?
Just give me a lift to a place
I can heal without the world
Weighing down on the bloody wings.

I’m still an angel underneath
Ready to heal, to teach, to guide
My soul can’t do it alone
Clean up my blood and help me…

Let me fly.

A Time to Kill My Dream

“What is it in us that seeks the truth? Is it our minds or is it our hearts? “

I was 12 when I watched A Time To Kill and as I watched Jake Tyler Brigance (Matthew McConaughey) fight for justice by separating people from their prejudices and making them see with their hearts, I decided that day I wanted to be in a court room one day, fighting for justice myself. My career choice wasn’t put on me by my parents…it was my own passion that led me down that path. Once I reached high school, it was clear that I would do everything I could to pursue my education in law, even if I hit a few bumps along the way.

“And until we can see each other as equals, justice is never going to be even-handed. It will remain nothing more than a reflection of our own prejudices.”

I entered the debate team of my high school in 9th grade. My sophomore year, I tried out and became a lawyer on our Mock Trial team. My first three years in high school were spent researching and writing up arguments. I spent many nights after school debating, practicing and going over evidence. The first time that I entered the courtroom for our trial and made my opening statement was one of the most exhilarating nights of my life. I knew that’s where I belonged…even with my shaking hands and fast-beating heart.

One of the reasons that GWU became my first choice for college was their debate and mock trial teams. Once I was accepted into their undergrad program in their International Affairs School, I began researching information for tryouts for debate & mock trial. This was it. I was moving forward with my dream.

Unfortunately, I never made it to the try outs. Since I was living at home and any extracurricular activities naturally met in the evening, my parents weren’t comfortable with me hanging around campus late…even though this is what I’d been working towards for four years. In one moment, all of my dreams were crushed. I spent my nights working part-time instead. I never forgave my mom nor myself for letting her get away with everything she’s gotten away with…I wonder how different my life would be now if I had pursued debate and mock trial in college.

The strange thing is…as much as I want to move onto law school, I think that the next step in my life after getting my B.A. in International Affairs will be a Master’s in journalism. Or Criminal Justice. I know that I want to be involved in justice and making a difference one way or another. Will I ever stand in a court room and speak to a judge & jury again? I don’t know…but I do know that even though one dream was crushed, the little girl who was moved by justice, perseverance and passion won’t ever let me give up on my dreams again.

Did you ever watch a movie that had such a big impact on you? What did you want to be when you grew up? Did you pursue it? Why or why not? Are you happy with the career you chose or would you rather be doing something else? If so, what?

The Veiled Demons

Let the rain hide the tears
Like the veil over your eyes
The world just doesn’t see
All the demons that hide inside

Like the foundation of your home
She holds you up through the ground
You may not see the strain
Even though she’s falling apart

The insecurities chew through like termites
Your demands rain down through the gutters
She’ll look shiny and new on the outside
While the walls are crumbling one by one.

So let her walk it out and for once
Don’t demand her to be that grown
The child inside is in need of love
If you can’t give it, then let her walk.

Let the rain hide the tears
Like the veil over your eyes
The world just doesn’t see
All the demons that hide inside

Playtime

Like a doll tossed
Against the corner
Of the wall of
Forgotten Dreams.

Broken Promises
Seep through the cracks
While the moonlight strikes
Against the glass eyes
Causing fears to be
Reflected in the night.

Shadows on the wall
Replay scenes filled
With twisted lies
Creating the pain
That could’ve been avoided
With the truths
Of a thousand lives.

She waits slumped
Covered by dust bunnies
Until the next lie
That’s his play time
With the pretty doll.

Blind

No longer silently numb
My screams rip my throat
To escape
To be heard
Recognized.

My pleading shakes the glass
My heart shattering
Bleeding
Begging
My entire body aching
To be seen
Understood.

Tears stain the face
That’s no longer a mask –
Your eyes look through
Pain
Pleading
AGONY
And only see you.
The twisted world
In YOUR mind.
Your demented heart.

My screams fall silent around
Your bubble
Mask
Blind soul.
My throat bleeds –
I bleed.
Alone.
Silent.
Forever.

Fears, Tears, Demons

Blood on the walls
Calluses on my hands
Silent screams in the halls
Devil on my shoulder
Where’s my hidden angel?

Fears of the heart
Tears of the fabric
Of my soul
Darkness
Emptiness
Where’s the silver lining?

One step forward
Five steps back
Thorns without roses
Storms without rainbows
Where’s the sun through the clouds?

Two roads diverged
They’re both full of what ifs
Unknowns, failures, blood
Fears, tears, demons
Where’s the third hidden road?

ETERNAL FIRE

Words unspoken hang in the air
Flames from an unapologetic wrath
Burn freely with the wind blowing
Causing the bridges to burn hastily.

Fear of vulnerability rises up slowly
Like a phoenix rising from the ashes
Of a bond once held together by trust,
Now floating up in a million pieces.

What was once unbreakable & strong
Flies uncontrollably in the fervent night sky
Without the foothold of foundation
Only accompanied by the tears we cry.

Was there ever a hint of hope
Before the fires began burning?
Could the bridges be saved
With the extinguish of an apology?

The friction was too vigorous to stop
Once that first flame lit up
Never were we fireproof
As the lies began to peel off.

So ends the tale of epic friends
Hiding behind masks afraid to trust
What was once eternal now burns
Ashes to ashes, dust to dust.

Silent Scream

“I’m sorry” she whispers timidly
For every mistake she never made
She’d like to fade into the blue
Quietly waiting for her life’s breakthrough

For every word she never said
There’s a backlash of a hundred
Every time she takes a step
Poison shoots out filled with hatred

Her tears form puddles of regret
For every mistake, every misstep
Even the ones she didn’t make
Cause her tears to turn scarlet.

The whispers of her past haunting
Every day, every memory, every dream
Swiftly becoming endlessly daunting
So that every breath becomes a silent scream.

Will her freedom be forever out of reach
Taking one step forward while being pulled by
Her fears stuck on to her dreams like a leech
Draining them as if they were never meant to be?

© 2008

What is this, the stone age?!

As a full time student and administrative assistant, I’ve been using the computer for more than 9 years. Moreover, I’m so good with all the Microsoft Office applications that I can find my way out of ANYTHING. If I can’t, no worries. That’s why the oompa-loompas invented the internetz! So, when I get a call from a job who want me to take an online evaluation of my skills before my interview, I think “Oh I got this bitch!” because let’s face it. I rock. I also breathe Microsoft Word.

So I happily go to the link provided in the email, log in and crack my knuckles. Let’s rock this!

But wait. Is that a typo? Are my eyes blurry? ARE THEY KIDDING ME? Before me, the screen reads “Microsoft Word 2000 Evaluation”

2000? THIS IS 2008. I take a deep breath and begin the test.

First all of all, the menus and shortcuts that I would have conveniently placed on my toolbar so I don’t waste precious time while working are nowhere to be found on this test! And the menus are outdated. HOW the hell am I supposed to survive through 4 of these tests? (Excel, Word, PP, Outlook). As if THAT wasn’t enough, the first 10 questions have me bold, underline, italicize, center, change the font, change the font size and change the font color. *cough* I can do that in my SLEEP. Are there seriously people out there applying for EXECUTIVE assistant jobs, as in “I’m going to do everything in my power to make sure that the president of a company with 150 employees has a smooth day”, wouldn’t know how to bold text?

*bangs head on keyboard*

So it’s very likely that I may have missed a couple of questions. Do you know why? Because I know the programs TOO well. As someone who loves convenience, I know all the shortcuts but no, to qualify for a job, I have to do it step by step. *sighs*

I mean, really. Of course, as if that torture wasn’t enough, I had to do a friggin typing test. So my WPM count is high but come on. The errors that I might have on there shouldn’t bring my word count DOWN. Just because the stupid test won’t let me backspace and fix an error…*rolls eyes*

Maybe I should just go back to counting change at the checkout register. But then I’d fail the “situation” tests…