No Hyperbole to Hide Behind

Newsflash: Not every person I meet in my life will like me.

Shocker, I know.

Bigger newsflash: Same goes for you.

When I was in high school, I had come to terms with that. I marched to my own beat and was friends with a variety of people, not sticking to one group.  My friends’ friends usually hated my guts. Maybe because I didn’t kiss their ass.

For some odd reason, when I graduated from high school and started ‘real life’, something in me changed. Suddenly, I was craving validation and attention.  I think it was just that my mom’s words were finally getting to me. Or somehow, turning 18 magically made me invalid.  I could never figure out what exactly triggered that need.  All I know is that I was consumed by it.

All of a sudden, my actions and words were dictated by this need for approval. With my friends going to different states for school, I had a fear of complete abandonment. (They proved me wrong but at the time, the fear was blinding)

I made stupid decisions.  I lost who I was and where I was going.  I stumbled. I fell.

I became covered by the scars of my insecurities.

Suddenly, the whole world could see me. And they hated what it was they saw…because I hated what I was showing them.

Only in the last year have I found my footing.  I’ve slowly come to terms with who I am and even more important, the people I want around me are those accepting of who I am without trying to change me.

At 25, I expect a lot from people. I used to always think that because I don’t have my degree, because I have to deal with my family, because I didn’t have the college experience, I am lacking. So those who have it all together should be making better decisions.  I should be looking to them for guidance as I find my footing.

What I found is completely different.  I am looking at those people and in some of them, I am seeing who I was as a lost 21 year old, constantly making decisions based on the need of validation.

I like who I am and I like the people I have surrounded myself with who like me, faults and all.  I love that my friends aren’t afraid to tell me when they see me making a mistake. I no longer feel attacked. I am no longer on the defensive.

Instead, I am on the productive path of life. That means there is a lesson to be learned in everything. The biggest lesson of all?

Not every person I meet in my life will like me and that is quite alright.

& Don’t you forget it.

16 thoughts on “No Hyperbole to Hide Behind

  1. Very well said. Sometimes it’s harder to accept ourselves than others & it sounds like you’re doing a great job of it.


  2. this is one of those well timed posts for me 🙂 i tend to do what i do without regard for how it will affect people’s views of me. except when it comes to my significant other. i lost who i was last year because of a doomed relationship, and i’m still pulling pieces of her back. my current boy helps, but sometimes i still question and doubt myself and us… thanks for this and for reminding me that i need to know i’m awesome first and foremost
    .-= michelle´s last blog ..look at me =-.


  3. Know failure first then success. I kinda like this motto. And your story reminds me of it. I was like you, in high school, I was friends with different groups, each one hating the other. I was the only ‘common factor’ but I didn’t let that deter me from being myself. Right now, I barely have 10 good friends. Less than 5 friends who completely understand me and like me for who I am. I don’t need much.

    Still I can’t say I found myself. Not yet. I haven’t discovered my true calling. But I’m hanging in there, enjoying whatever and however I can.

    Saw your blog on Living Wicked. I’m glad I found you! Nice blog. ;p
    .-= The Mercurial Wife´s last blog ..Underwear: His And Hers =-.


  4. Quote to live by:

    You will never make friends unless you like everyone genuinely. Oh well, I’m fucked then aren’t I?
    -Thom Yorke

    Now go do your best.


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