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Never Driving Again

All I could smell were the fumes. I couldn’t move to open my door, or my window. I kept trying to undo my seat belt even though it was already off but I was still feeling it across my body. The air bag taunted me. I couldn’t recognize the street when I looked up and I was afraid to open my door.

It felt like the fumes were suffocating me. I didn’t hear much of anything. My mind was a complete blank, my entire body shaking. I saw police cars and ambulances and thought “I should get out of their way.”

Then I remembered they were there for me.

I finally got out of my car and told the EMTs I was fine. Just shook up. Then I finally saw the damage. The fluids…the front of my car totally annihilated. My bumper lying down the street. Cars going around me. I looked inside and was surprised to see the air bag. I couldn’t remember it.

Once I put my phone together and moved to the side of the road, there was only one number I called. The moment I heard his voice was when I started crying. He told me he was on his way.

The rest is a blur. I remember the very kind police officer letting me sit in her car. I remember having to take everything out of my car before it got towed away because it could be totaled. The police officer drove me around the harbor until the Boy got there to pick me up. She listened to me ramble about my family and how I had just moved out and I couldn’t call my dad because if I had, I would probably never make it back to DC. I told her about how I’ve only been with my boyfriend for a little over a month and he didn’t hesitate to come pick me up.

“That’s a good man.” she said. “Have you ever been to the National Harbor?”
“Well, it’s really pretty.”
“Yeah, what a way to see it the first time.”
“Hey…things happen. At least you’re OK.”

Because if I had hit my brakes a nanosecond later, I wouldn’t be OK. All I did was go to Alexandria to pick up a Halloween costume from my friend. I was so excited that I didn’t even mind that I took a wrong turn and ended up on 95. All I’d need to do was get on 295 and head to DC…then I took a wrong exit but it was OK. I just needed to get back on 295. I passed a green light and was focused on the sign for my exit. I didn’t see the red light until it was too late. Then I saw the car coming at me from the left and hit the brakes.

I wasn’t even distracted. My phone wasn’t in my hand. The radio wasn’t even on. All I was focusing on was finding my way home.

It just happened.

I may have survived the accident but I’m not sure if I’m going to survive telling my dad.

If I had just stayed home.

This morning, walking to the metro, I cringed at every intersection. I couldn’t raise my head up because I didn’t want to see cars. All I wanted was to crawl back into bed and never have to get in a car ever again.

{ 55 comments… add one }
  • tinyshrimp October 21, 2009, 8:53 am

    Oh man, that really sucks. I’m so glad that you are okay though. **HUGS**

    • PQ October 21, 2009, 10:36 am


  • Brando October 21, 2009, 9:30 am

    That sucks–but everyone gets into a bad one at some point, at least no one was hurt. It’ll just make you extra cautious for a while.

    Of course, it doesn’t help that the road signs around here are confusing as hell.
    .-= Brando´s last blog ..How to Spot a Werewolf =-.

    • PQ October 21, 2009, 10:37 am

      It was the first time I was on 295…Ever. I was disoriented from the big loop I just had to make…gah.


  • M October 21, 2009, 9:38 am

    I know it can be hard to sort through all of the emotions involved in something like this (I totaled my first car when I was barely 17) but YOU ARE UNINJURED and that, my love, is what you should be focused on. It will be a pain in the ass to deal with the rest of it, but as long as you have your priorities straight, it will be easier to cope with the fallout.

    And of course the boy came to get you! He’s a good guy and it was clear to me from one night with the two of you that he cares about you very much :).
    .-= M´s last blog ..Epic =-.

    • PQ October 21, 2009, 10:41 am

      I totaled a car a few years ago but it wasn’t as bad as this. It was just a fender bender and my car was really old. The impact of this accident probably won’t leave me for a while.

      And yeah…I don’t know what I would’ve done if he didn’t come to get me.

  • Megan October 21, 2009, 9:55 am

    If it helps you will get calmer around cars faster than you think. I got hit by a car crossing the street a couple years ago and while I was a little bit overly cautious for a month or two it does get much easier.

    • PQ October 21, 2009, 10:41 am

      I certainly hope so.

  • inkpuddle October 21, 2009, 10:12 am

    Oi. I’m glad you’re okay—the details are a pain in the butt to deal with (and the embarrassment doesn’t help, either), but seriously, the fact that you are uninjured is a pretty big effing deal. 🙂 I totaled my first car with the help of an eighteen wheeler, and it definitely puts a new spin on things for a little while. Big hugs your way.
    .-= inkpuddle´s last blog ..We sleep all, sleep all day =-.

    • PQ October 21, 2009, 10:43 am

      Oh god, I couldn’t even imagine being in an accident with an 18 Wheeler.


  • Jaime October 21, 2009, 10:21 am

    *hugs* I’m so glad you’re physically unhurt. It’s going to take a while to get over the emotional jarring you had, but you’ll get over it eventually. Your boyfriend sounds like an incredible guy to come get you like that. <3
    .-= Jaime´s last blog ..RANT!!!!11! =-.

    • PQ October 21, 2009, 10:43 am

      He didn’t even hesitate.

      He’s really the best.

      • Jaime October 21, 2009, 11:10 am

        I’m happy you have him.

        • PrincessQ October 21, 2009, 11:15 am

          You and me both.

  • GingerMandy October 21, 2009, 10:29 am

    aw babe, i’m just glad you’re ok. your dad might be upset, but i’m sure he’ll be grateful that nothing happened to you as well. and i’m glad you’ve got such a good boy that takes such good care of you. 🙂

    • PQ October 21, 2009, 10:44 am

      I don’t know…he’s gonna be pretty pissed but I really can’t think about it too much.

      I know…I’m pretty damn lucky to have him.


  • Lauren October 21, 2009, 10:33 am

    OMG, I’m sooo glad you were not physically harmed. That sounds sooo scary, your boyfriend sounds like a saint for coming to the rescue.

    I was in a minor fender bender five years ago and I still get tense on that stretch of the highway every single time I pass it.

    big hugs!! <3

    • PQ October 21, 2009, 10:45 am

      Well hopefully I won’t be on that particular road anytime soon. I still get tense when I drive past the point when I had my first accident.

      Thanks. xo

  • Ed Adams October 21, 2009, 10:40 am

    Glad you’re okay. How long ago was it?
    .-= Ed Adams´s last blog ..Wednesday…….WYR, Weird&Wacky Whatnot’s =-.

    • PQ October 21, 2009, 10:42 am

      Last night.

  • RachelSmiles October 21, 2009, 10:42 am

    i’m glad you’re ok! xoxo
    .-= RachelSmiles´s last blog ..mashup heaven 🙂 =-.

    • PQ October 21, 2009, 10:45 am

      Thank you! <3

  • Just A Girl October 21, 2009, 10:46 am

    I promise you’ll be ok. When I got hit by a drunk driver when I was 20, it totalled my car and I panicked every time someone came up behind me at a red light because I was scared they wouldn’t stop. But eventually the fear got less and less. Someone rear-ended me a couple years later (yep totalled that car too…bad luck) and I kind of went through the same thing but after awhile I relaxed again. You will too. I’m sorry that it happened though 🙁
    .-= Just A Girl´s last blog ..On the road again… =-.

    • PrincessQ October 21, 2009, 10:55 am

      Ugh. I just don’t want to think about it. I don’t even know if I’m going to be OK getting IN a car.

  • LiLu October 21, 2009, 11:10 am

    It is a scary, scary thing, but at least you’re okay! That’s what matters. The rest will blow over.

    And bonus: living somewhere you don’t need to drive, at all! Trust. 😉
    .-= LiLu´s last blog ..It’s Been Far, Far Too Joyful Around Here… Let’s Fix That. =-.

    • PrincessQ October 21, 2009, 11:17 am

      Truth. <3

  • Liebchen October 21, 2009, 11:47 am

    Oh god, lady. I’m so sorry. I know exactly how scary that is. I’m glad you’re all right!
    .-= Liebchen´s last blog ..Next time I’ll plan a couple escape routes =-.

    • PrincessQ October 21, 2009, 12:15 pm


  • flippy October 21, 2009, 11:56 am

    You poor thing. I did the same thing when I was 16 — accidentally ran a red light and crushed the tin can of a Geo Metro I was driving. It’s OK to be scared and never want to see a car again. It took me a few weeks to even try to drive — and that was in Washington state where everyone drives muuuuuch slower than DC! I can’t even imagine how shaken up you are here.

    I’m so glad you’re not hurt, and please let me know if there’s anything I can do!
    .-= flippy´s last blog ..kaleidoscope hair and a public cry for help =-.

    • PrincessQ October 21, 2009, 12:16 pm

      Yeah, I can’t believe how fast that car was going. I was going slow enough to be able to brake.


  • Suburban Sweetheart October 21, 2009, 12:22 pm

    OY! So sorry to hear this… and beyond glad that you’re OK.
    .-= Suburban Sweetheart´s last blog ..Epic Epidemic: The Sick Bloggers Edition =-.

    • PrincessQ October 21, 2009, 1:00 pm

      Yeah…thanks. <3

  • phampants October 21, 2009, 12:43 pm

    .-= phampants´s last blog ..Meeting of Important People – Brittney Lane Don’t Care =-.

    • PrincessQ October 21, 2009, 1:00 pm


  • dani October 21, 2009, 1:21 pm

    that is crazy! glad you are ok though! thats why driving really scares me,you just never know 🙁 good luck with your dad,if he loves you,he should be happy that you are ok too. cars are cars. you are his daughter,and your life is alot more important than a piece of metal.

    • PrincessQ October 21, 2009, 1:59 pm

      Thanks. We’ll see.

  • Patrick October 21, 2009, 1:34 pm

    After being in my own fender bender I have always double check intersections and when I run a yellow I feel like I might die.
    .-= Patrick´s last blog ..Playing Hard Then Working Hard =-.

    • PrincessQ October 21, 2009, 2:00 pm

      Oh I won’t be driving for a while.

  • Maxie October 21, 2009, 3:03 pm

    Glad you’re okay– wrecks are the worst for sure.
    .-= Maxie´s last blog ..Would You Rather Wednesday =-.

    • PrincessQ October 21, 2009, 3:14 pm

      Yeah, seriously.

  • MinD October 21, 2009, 4:36 pm

    Telling your dad won’t be easy – maybe you already have. And the costs won’t be fun. But you’re okay and that’s really what matters above all else. People make mistakes, it happens. ::Hugs::
    .-= MinD´s last blog ..Apparently this is now the poetry corner. =-.

    • PrincessQ October 22, 2009, 10:47 am

      I haven’t told him…and honestly, I’m OK with the costs.


  • fgrngtllt October 21, 2009, 4:56 pm

    ahhhh honey am so glad u walked away and the boy was there for you when it counted most. these things happen and you are ok thats all that matters:)

    • PrincessQ October 22, 2009, 10:47 am

      Thank you 🙂

  • BigMamaCass October 21, 2009, 5:11 pm

    Oh honey, I am so sorry you had to go through that. 🙁 All that matters is that you are ok. Thank goodness!
    .-= BigMamaCass´s last blog ..Too lazy to type anything else Wordless Wednesday Daily Photo Blog =-.

    • PrincessQ October 22, 2009, 10:47 am

      These things are meant to happen I guess! Thanks!

  • Pecosa October 21, 2009, 6:27 pm

    Oh, honey, I’m so glad you’re ok. I hate that you have to deal with stress about your family on top of everything else, but such is life and he’s been pretty understanding lately. Sending good vibes your way. Besos.
    .-= Pecosa´s last blog ..Dying of Death *updated* =-.

    • PrincessQ October 22, 2009, 10:48 am


  • f.B October 21, 2009, 9:17 pm

    Good to hear you’re okay. LiLu’s right: the rest will blow over.
    .-= f.B´s last blog ..don’t turn your back on chickens when your pop rocks taste like butter =-.

    • PrincessQ October 22, 2009, 10:48 am

      I sure hope so. Thanks!

  • Caroline Lewis October 22, 2009, 7:50 am

    God , I am SO GLAD you are okay!
    .-= Caroline Lewis´s last blog ..Sleep Training Tips Needed for Cate (WTE) =-.

    • PrincessQ October 22, 2009, 10:48 am


  • LA Cochran October 26, 2009, 5:46 pm

    So glad you’re okay. *hug*
    .-= LA Cochran´s last blog .."I am a rock" –Simon and Garfunkel =-.

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