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Let’s Play The BLAME GAME

(Originally posted in Fall of 2008…Bringing it back because I’ve seen it happen a lot and I now have new readers whose input will be awesome to lead a discussion. *hint hint*)

Something is wrong?

Oh then it can’t be MY fault. No way. Let me go down the list of people that I can blame…Hell, I’ll even blame nature!

This is our society. Let’s all play the blame game. I’m going to blame:

*The Media
*Video games
*Affirmative Action
*That dog crossing the street
*The Starbucks barista
*The customer service rep taking my calls
*The economy
*Affirmative action
*My ex-boyfriend’s mother’s boss
*The government
*That top 40 song with the explicit lyrics
*The tobacco company
*Trojan manufacturers
*The dead guy
*Who are YOU going to blame?

What the hell happened to personal responsibility? What happened to making choices and living with the consequences? It’s so much easier to put the blame on others while sitting on our ass and whining.

“No, I don’t have a job yet. I haven’t sent my resume out because come on. All the jobs are going to India ANYWAY. It’s hopeless”

Yesterday, I watched a video about a guy who was being charged for manslaughter because he was street racing. The car that he was racing hit an oncoming car, killing the driver of that car and not surviving the crash. The other racer who survived, and who was on trial had an entire defense based on BLAMING THE DEAD GUY.

“But I didn’t hit the oncoming car. He did. Why are you blaming me?”

Thank goodness our justice system did something right and he was charged. I mean, come on. How can you blame the dead guy? How can THAT be your best defense? He’s dead. He’s been punished enough.

Next time you’re late to work because you’re hungover, go ahead and blame your cat. Or even your next door neighbor who happens to be out of town. It’s his fault you were late to work. He wakes you up in the morning with his loud music when he’s getting ready for work. How can you be held responsible for getting to work on time if he wasn’t there to wake you up?!

God forbid you invest in an alarm clock…

And then…there’s the person who is NEVER in the wrong…and everyone else is OUT TO GET THEM. Their child’s teacher is out to get the kid, which is why the kid is failing his class. Oh no, it’s not because he didn’t do his homework. The cop who pulled her over for speeding is out to get her. It’s not because she was doing 80 in a 45. Everyone ELSE was speeding too! We call this insanity the Conspiracy Theorist. Everything bad that happens to them is because they’re handpicked to be the scapegoat. There is absolutely NO other explanation.

What are YOU guilty of blaming on others? Do you know anyone who’s constantly denying responsibility and finding people to blame (“The conspiracy theorist”)? Do you think that the media is to blame for…well, everything?

{ 30 comments… add one }
  • WickedCourtni April 6, 2009, 12:19 am

    I remember this original post.

    I think that anyone who cannot take responsibility for their own part in a circumstance is someone who I will not associate with period.

  • Meghan April 6, 2009, 1:19 am

    I’m guilty of blaming others for my lack of assertiveness. I don’t vocalize what I want vs what I think the other person wants (totally depending on the person) and I throw myself under the bus to make other people happy. Problem is (if that wasn’t enough) I then have the ability to give attitude to the same people I tried to help and it’s very unfair to them … not their fault I didn’t speak up and then changed my mind later.

    Doesn’t happen often…but it DOES happen.

    And I do have a friend who finds a way to rationalize EVERYTHING to fit her needs in any given situation…it’s practically a gift! She’s talked herself out of just as many situations as she has worked herself into.

  • topsurf April 6, 2009, 7:22 am

    I have to admit and I might be alone in this, but I’m not a big blamer of people, I tend to blame myself first. “I chose to go there…I chose to follow that path….Why did I ask that question….Why did I take that direction instead of the other direction” get my point, so I guess if we are blaming I can admit I do blame, just not others too much, more of myself.

  • Cassie April 6, 2009, 8:24 am

    I very RARELY do not accept my faults and admit to them. I cannot say I never do, because that would be a lie. I’m more than a little hard-headed and sometimes it takes someone pointing out a wrong before I will admit to it, but I do TRY to take responsibility for me.

    and YES…there are a couple of my peoples that refuse to take responsibility for ANYTHING thing do! It’s MADDENING!!!

  • LiLu April 6, 2009, 9:02 am

    “What are YOU guilty of blaming on others?”

    Well, I didn’t give MYSELF VD. Sheesh.

  • f.B April 6, 2009, 11:57 am

    Ugh, the media blaming really bothers me. I’m hugely biased, but still: the media is not ruining your children or enabling a war…

    But who do I blame? How about what? I like blaming religion for lots of things.

  • Justin (Oats) April 6, 2009, 2:01 pm

    We all recognize that I’m the problem here. I take the blame and then what? Then it affects the way I think. I become depressed because it’s all my fault. I ruined my own career and fucked up my own life. I can blame this illness but it was my decisions that led me to where I am. Now I’m suffering in this gaping hole of depression because I do accept the blame for when I blamed others I was simply bitter and proactive to get things done to make sure the blame couldn’t be passed on me. I wasn’t happy but I wasn’t like this. This horrid horrid state of nothingness.

    They say that taking the blame, owning up to your faults is a virtue. This is only true of some. In excess it will cause you ruin. The opposite of a conspiracy theorist – we now have a Black Hole. Sucking in the blame for everything. Not following rules and boundaries because they don’t need an excuse. Just honesty. I’m late to therapy because I was fucking around and lost track of time. Sorry. It’s my fault. I’ll pay for it.

    I have so much shit crashing down on me now that I don’t even pay attention to the news. There’s nothing we can do about anything until someone takes responsibility for at least some of their actions. If they take responsibiility for all wrongdoing then you’ll see politicians and world leaders curled in the fetal position hoping for a kind word and not another verbal lashing which are oh so common.

    A Debbie Downer? No. She just spoils the fun. There is no fun here. There is fault. And I take full responsibility for everyone I offend, humor, enlighten, and irritate. And somewhere in all this, I come out, peek my head above the surface and there is some solace in knowing that my burden is gone. I have nothing on my chest. Everything is out in the open.

    You can’t break me unless I let you.

  • gudgirl April 6, 2009, 3:31 pm

    you’re not alone in this… i tend to blame myself first, before looking at possible external causes. i seldom look for external causes, because – as you said…i chose a direction…i made the decision…i always have a choice and i am the only one to ‘blame’ for that choice.

  • Owen April 6, 2009, 4:31 pm

    it’s mostly my fault because i’m the only one i can change.

    then again, sometimes some people think things went wrong when they really didn’t.

    maybe the person who stole your life savings did you a favor.

    now you don’t have to worry about having enough for retirement because you know you don’t. knowing is a good thing.

  • Jaime @ Fast Times April 6, 2009, 7:07 pm

    What are YOU guilty of blaming on others? Do you know anyone who’s constantly denying responsibility and finding people to blame? Alli

    Do you think that the media is to blame for…well, everything? No. The media has power only because people allow them to. It’s everyone’s fault. EVERYONE’S.

  • Twinkie April 6, 2009, 7:59 pm

    I like to call people like “victims” and the shit in their life is self-inflicted drama. Like you said, “I didn’t do my homework.. but ultimately the reason I got an F is because the teacher hates me.”

    I worked at a place where ALL the girls in the office hated me. They were rude, would talk shit about me in front of me behind my back. You know.. like they’d whisper it but it would be loud enough for me to hear?

    Anyways, I made it my mission to show them they had NO reason not to like me OR at least make them feel guilty for being such bitches towards me so I would pretend like I didn’t realize they hated me and I’d be nice to them. Not too nice so I wasn’t annoying but just nice enough.

    anyways, eventually we became very good friends. And they admitted the reason they hated me is becauseof the way I was hired. (the big boss hired me without consulting the office manager)

    I could have just crawled in a rock and died. I could have quit my job and blamed it on their punk asses. But I didn’t. I did something about it.

    The old me would have reverted to self sabotage/victimization and then I’d be unemployed again. But I didn’t.

  • justjp April 6, 2009, 9:10 pm

    I blame everyone for everything! Except for those who want to employ me.

  • PrincessQ April 6, 2009, 10:45 pm

    I think it happens all too often…there are times I just don’t know how to deal with it.

  • PrincessQ April 6, 2009, 10:47 pm

    I can talk myself out of situations but it’s not without taking the blame. (Like convincing a professor to give me an extension on a paper that was due 3 days ago.)

    As far as not vocalizing how you felt and then ‘blaming’ others for it, it’s something I used to do a lot when I was younger…especially in relationships. It’s definitely something that’s hard to overcome but it can be done.

    I have faith in you 🙂

  • PrincessQ April 6, 2009, 10:49 pm

    But do you blame yourself too much for things that aren’t even your fault?

  • perpstu April 7, 2009, 12:01 pm

    Whoa, whoa, whoa! Accept responsibility for your own actions? That’s positively ree-dic-you-lus! LOL
    In all seriousness though, I am tired of people blaming others for their actions. I have seen blame shifted for things as little as spilling a glass of water (she bumped my elbow) and the large -people cheating on their spouses (he was a bad husband so I couldn’t keep my pants on while out of his eyesight.) It’s ludicrous. If you fuck up, man up and admit it. It makes you a stronger, better person.

  • Friday13 April 8, 2009, 11:47 pm

    I blame everything on my cat. I really do.

    (NOTE TO SELF: buy a cat)

    (NOTE TO SELF #2: get rid of dogs, first)

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