We will spend our entire lives having the people around us dictate what is ‘best’ for us. It may be directly or indirectly but the judgment in their tone, the words they choose, the look in their eyes will shift us a degree or five without us even realizing…because if they view it as wrong, then maybe we should rethink it.
The group of people in our lives who will do this the most will be family. Parents, siblings, cousins, aunts, uncles…everyone who think they know us simply through blood relation. The ones who think they know us without even asking us what is going on in our world. That is the most dangerous of all.
“They’re family. They wouldn’t do anything to harm me.”
True. They wouldn’t do anything to harm you…consciously. But just because they’re family doesn’t mean they know you…and if they don’t know you, how can they gauge what is best for you?
I may have failed logic but common sense is one of my better subjects in the school of life. And I am an expert witness. Go ahead and voir dire me and let me tell you about all the uncertainties caused by the experiences that have made me qualified enough to be an expert in the area of poison by family.
Passive-Aggressive is the family’s strongest weapon, reinforced by guilt. After all, they raised you. They brought you into this world. You owe them the satisfaction of having your life dictated by their wants and needs. Because they think they know you when the only thing they know is a shell of a person because they refuse to listen and see the truth. In reality, it’s easier to avoid the truth and stick to one road with blinders on. After all, the only thing they’re harming is your determination to be the best you can be…because these days, that’s a crime.
So we grow up, conforming to what they want because after all, they know best. Our confidence and creativity get thrown on the back burner as we go through life in the steps expected, not wavering…not finding ourselves but rather, continuing to look in from the outside as if our life is a movie that we’re watching on the big screen. We want to yell at the person on the screen as if we’re yelling at a character in a horror movie about to get pushed down a flight of stairs.
“TURN AROUND. He’s right beside you.”
Not all of us survive the fall.
The good news is that your life isn’t a movie.
It’s in your power to re-write the script.
You are the one person that can find you…that knows what’s best for you…because guess what…
*Title credit: The Producers (1968) – Franz Liebkind (Kenneth Mars)