I can’t pinpoint the exact moment, but hope decided to stop being a backseat driver and took over recently. It was always there. The one thing I never lose is hope, even if it’s quieter under all the noise from the sadness and chaos.
Sometime in the last week or so, hope decided that was enough sadness. I’d let myself be sad. My friends let me be sad but that was enough.
So I’m not sad anymore. I’m still a little apprehensive and there are moments anxiety takes over but my life isn’t being dictated by my sadness anymore.
I feel confident in my decisions, and my decisions for my future. I’m scared shitless but I’m confident.
Funny how that works.