Embrace

I’ve always been a watcher. I like to observe. I get to know other people’s tendencies and then compare myself.

How can I improve? Why am I different? Is that necessarily a bad thing?

I’ve never thought that I was better than the people around me. I’ve always been the insecure one.

Somewhere in the last year, something changed.

I am observing characteristics in people that are familiar and then I realize that is how I used to be.

Unsure. Wanting to be liked by everyone.

Too cheery, too outgoing, too positive.

Doing everything they can to cover up the uncertainty.

I used to be like that until I learned to embrace.

Embrace who I am and if I need to improve, work on improving instead of wallowing in self-pity or running away from the problems.

And ask my boyfriend. In the last 3 months, I’ve wanted to run away quite often.

Instead, I am embracing.

I embrace my insecurities, own them and make them my own to take the power away from them and others who use them to get to me.

I embrace the fact that not everyone will like me and that is OK.

I embrace my flaws. My imperfections. And then I embrace the positives and figure out how I can make my life better.

The problem with being insecure is that nothing anyone says will get through to you.

You build a wall of self-pity painted with a coat of denial.

So I just watch as my friends go through what they need to before they can take the hammer of empowerment to that wall.

It’s odd. Once in a while, I stop and say “It’s weird not being the insecure one.”

Because no matter how bad it gets, I know that it will always get better, whether it’s in the way I want it to or through a different path.

It always gets better.

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