I’ve always been a watcher. I like to observe. I get to know other people’s tendencies and then compare myself.
How can I improve? Why am I different? Is that necessarily a bad thing?
I’ve never thought that I was better than the people around me. I’ve always been the insecure one.
Somewhere in the last year, something changed.
I am observing characteristics in people that are familiar and then I realize that is how I used to be.
Unsure. Wanting to be liked by everyone.
Too cheery, too outgoing, too positive.
Doing everything they can to cover up the uncertainty.
I used to be like that until I learned to embrace.
Embrace who I am and if I need to improve, work on improving instead of wallowing in self-pity or running away from the problems.
And ask my boyfriend. In the last 3 months, I’ve wanted to run away quite often.
Instead, I am embracing.
I embrace my insecurities, own them and make them my own to take the power away from them and others who use them to get to me.
I embrace the fact that not everyone will like me and that is OK.
I embrace my flaws. My imperfections. And then I embrace the positives and figure out how I can make my life better.
The problem with being insecure is that nothing anyone says will get through to you.
You build a wall of self-pity painted with a coat of denial.
So I just watch as my friends go through what they need to before they can take the hammer of empowerment to that wall.
It’s odd. Once in a while, I stop and say “It’s weird not being the insecure one.”
Because no matter how bad it gets, I know that it will always get better, whether it’s in the way I want it to or through a different path.
It always gets better.
***
6 thoughts on “Embrace”
“You build a wall of self-pity painted with a coat of denial.”
My favorite line. This was all really well-said. Sometimes life makes us forget we are strong, empowered individuals. Thanks for the reminder.
OneBlondeGirl
I do the same compare and contrast thing and it’s taken a while to realize that the differences aren’t always good or bad, they just are.
Good for you for embracing – sometimes the running seems like such an easier option.
Liebchen
Last night I watched a film that taught me to just accept me for who I am.
Unfortunately it was a terribly made film- but it inspired me none the less.
Dmbosstone
hehehehe
I like to watch too……just sayin! lol
Cassie
We all need to remind ourselves of this sometimes. I’m glad you reminded me of it today. Thanks lady!
Mindy
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