PSA: Don’t Be THAT Person

This past year has been a LOT of fun, and especially this summer, I’ve gotten to spend time with my friends – usually in big groups.

You know the drill: Drinks and food starts getting ordered and at the end of the night, the credit cards come out.

“Split it”

What I’ve come across, more than once, is people who leave early (Which is totally fine) without leaving enough money to cover their part of the tab. I don’t mean one beer that’s $5 but a tab that includes a couple hours of drinking, maybe food and sometimes, for more than one person.

At the end of the night, when the bill comes, it’s up to the people left to cover the tab. So, not only are they splitting the tab for their own charges but now have to cover whatever it is that wasn’t paid by the ones who left early.

Look, it’s simple. If you know that you’re going to be leaving earlier than the entire group, bring cash with you to leave behind & keep track of what you eat/drink. Or if you forget the cash, then go to the register and pay your part of the tab.

It’s really simple as that and yet…

Guys, we’re all adults here. You wouldn’t skip out on the tab when you go out by yourself, so why would want to be that person in a group?

Trust me, you don’t want to be that person.

There are extreme circumstances, emergencies, etc. I get it. Just be a grown up about it and do the right thing.

You drink it, you pay for it.

It’s simple as that.

Summer of Travel: NYC

I wanted to kick off my summer right but it wouldn’t be by the pool or BBQs. Oh no. I got my butt on the bus Saturday morning and headed to one of my favorite cities in the world: NYC. It would be a weekend full of relaxation, & bonding away from everything else (Including A, who worked all weekend. Poor baby.)

I was a little afraid though. When I went to NY last October, I fell in love. I was afraid the magic would be gone. That the comfort I felt back then was only because life was treating me awful and I wanted to get lost in the chaos of the city.

The second we crossed the Lincoln Tunnel, I knew that I was worried for no reason.

The same kind of relief I feel when the plane touches ground in Turkey washed over me.


In Times Square - October, 2010

I wanted to just relax on Saturday and was feeling a little blah after the bus ride (Which was full of a pee stink for 4 hours). Monica was headed to the beach and asked me “Are you sure you don’t want to come?”

No. I was not sure. To the beach we went!

It was my first time on the subway, and as we were waiting on the platform, I informed Monica of this.

“Get ready to run.”
“OK. Wait. It’ll be that full?”

“Well, it won’t stop. The doors will open but it just slows down & you have to jump in.”

For a good 30 seconds I believed her because her face was so straight.

“Oh. You suck.”

We headed out to Coney Island & even though it was windy, laid on the beach for a couple of hours before walking around. Nathan’s hotdogs & cheese fries? Ice cream? Sailors in their cute uniforms?

Oh yes. It was a gorgeous day.


You can find all the Coney Island pictures here. I also have a couple up for sale on Etsy if you like them.

The rest of the weekend was full of relaxation & laughter.  On Sunday, I left Monica resting in the apartment while I went to meet up with 3 people I’ve known for over 6 years & haven’t yet met.

These women (and that one guy) have known me since I was 19. They’ve seen me hit rock bottom & grow and have been there through it all.  (And yes, I met them blogging. Go figure.) I only got to see them for a half hour but it was so worth it.


All in all, it was an amazing weekend. Best part was that there was no partying. I was content just being in New York, walking around and taking in the city.

It was the best way to start my summer. The summer that’ll make up for the depression of last summer.

Next up: Chicago in July!

How was your Memorial Day weekend? What have you got planned for this summer?

The Fab 5

Thanks to Trop50 for sponsoring my writing about fabulous bloggers. This year Trop50 is granting 50 Fabulous Wishes. Click here to enter for a chance to win $1,000 to celebrate a friend with a refreshing attitude about looking and feeling fabulous!

I’ve been blogging for close to 8 years. That’s a long time & in that time, I’ve met a ton of amazing people (Some of them are even going to be my bridesmaids!)  In the last couple of years, I’ve been lucky enough to be part of a blogging community so full of love, inspiration & fabulousness.  Here are 5 of those fabulous bloggers who inspire me on a regular basis.

Katie from Katie Blogs

Katie is a friend, an inspiration, and someone who never fails to put a smile on my face. She shares her journey boldly with the world, and inspires those around her. In her About Me, she says “I’ve evolved from a somewhat immature, mostly confused teenager to a somewhat immature, mostly confused adult with a destination, passion, and dedication to live my biggest, best life one day at a time.” That alone would make me come back and read her day after day.


Courtni, aka, Wicked

This is Courtni. You may also know her as my Numbah 2, sister from another mother and Matron of Honor. She’s a lot of things to me personally, but she’s more than that. She’s a writer (Check out her book!) , a mother, a wife & an amazing friend. She’s honest (brutal at times) and has unbelievable strength. I’ve known this girl for 7 years & she’s always always pushed me to be the best I can be as a writer & as a person. She says she quit blogging but the truth is, she’s just waiting for me to finally redesign her blog. (I know I know, I’m getting there.) She’s awesome, fabulous & just plain Wicked.


Meet Doniree

Doni is 3rd on my list of Fabulous Bloggers (though the numbers mean nothing) & she’s the first of these lovely ladies that I have yet to meet. #sadpanda. Besides being absolutely adorable, Doni is inspirational, lives with intention & is the kind of person I want to be when I grow up. I doubt I’ll ever be a yogini like her but I can definitely live with intention.


This is Chelsea. She talks smack.

I came across this blog a couple of years ago. It was full of passion. So.much.passion. And life. In the last two years, I’ve watched Chelsea just transform, powering through heartbreak, life changes & embracing everything with her soul. I have yet to meet this beautiful, fabulous woman in person (but I did get to talk to her on the phone. Squee.)  Honestly, if you don’t know Chelsea, you’re just missing out, because she’ll infect you with passion. (And you’ll like it.)

This is Ashley. She rejects the status quo.

I got to meet Ashley last summer when she was passing through DC. Even her presence was just so powerful & welcoming at the same time. You may know her from The Middle Finger Project where she is rejecting the status quo, on a daily basis. She’s powerful, sweet, and just full of life. Because entrepreneurs do it better, and vulgar titles are funny.


Don’t forget to enter the 50 Fabulous Wishes contest for a chance to win $1,000 to celebrate a friend with a refreshing attitude about looking and feeling fabulous. I was selected for this Tropicana Trop50 sponsorship by the Clever Girls Collective, which endorses Blog With Integrity, as I do. I received compensation to use and facilitate my post.

[Reverb10] Community

The groupphoto © 2009 Grzegorz Łobiński | more info (via: Wylio)

This year, as I found myself, I also found people around me fading away.

As I grew out of friendships, it seemed that because of one friendship expiring, I kept losing entire communities of people.

At 25 years old, it’s hard to make new friends, let alone find new communities so you focus on making the ones you have stronger.

June of 2010 was an incredible month for me as I found myself smack in the middle of a sisterhood that had already embraced me unconditionally. I just didn’t fully see or understand it until we were all in the same room together. They had watched me grow over the last few years, some intimately & some from a distance.  When a friend I had met online who had watched me from a distance invited me to her wedding around the same time someone I thought was a friend told me I wasn’t welcome in her life (In addition to her wedding), I understood what true friendship & community meant.

I also found the Social Media community of Washington, DC. I was intimated at first because I felt like I didn’t have anything to offer. I was timid & unsure, like the new kid in a high school where everyone had known each other since nap time. I still put myself out there, through my fear & insecurities. Boy am I glad I did.  I have met some amazing people who have made a name for themselves and are still offering insight to the newcomers. The sharing of knowledge, insight & the friendships that form in this community are priceless. (This is obviously nowhere near a comprehensive list of all the amazing people I have met & you should join the FB group if you want to join the great discussions)

You have to make it through the fluff.

The reality is no matter what community you discover, there will always be fluff.  It’s when you get down to the nitty gritty that you find the true value in the community, the people and most important of all, yourself.

In 2011, I’ll keep being the new kid where it counts.


Community. Where have you discovered community, online or otherwise, in 2010? What community would you like to join, create or more deeply connect with in 2011? (Author: Cali Harris)