I have no real blog today.
I came close to having an anxiety attack last night…Closest I’ve come to in a while. I think it has to do with the fact that I’m going to go and check out my new place tonight. Ya know, the one I’m moving to in 7 weeks?
That decision I’ve made to change my life and I have no idea how I’m going to pull it off?
Yeah, that house. With one of my best friends. What happens AFTER I move out/in isn’t what’s making me anxious.
It’s the actual getting OUT.
I’ve been keeping so positive lately that I’m trying to avoid the anxiety, making myself believe that I can do this. I’ve been spending time with friends, making PLANS with friends, making plans for my life, my year, my future…to go after my dreams.
This is the most I’ve let myself go in years. I’m afraid of crash and burn. I don’t do well with disappointment. I don’t do well with letting my dreams fall apart…again. I’ve done it over and over and over again…hoped and planned only to have everything ripped away.
Why do I think this time will be different?
In other news, last night’s House was really good. I love the interaction between Wilson & House…and I was happy to realize that I have friends like that too. The ones who can pull me out of anything…though I kind of hate Cameron’s guts. Just sayin.
PS: I now have the Google Friend Connect on the side so join before you leave. I should have the html site up in a couple of weeks. Papers & end of semester keep calling my name. *sigh*