On your next visit to your gynecologist, please ask him/her about the “Penis Cream Treatment”. This treatment requires you to put the ointment on the tip of a penis and applied inside your vagina with thrusting motions. The thrusting can be slow or fast depending on the required treatment and the certified technician who will be applying the treatment must time his sessions with a kitchen timer.
This treatment is key if you discover a rash of white spots in or around your vagina. Please contact your local pilot to do the treatment…It should continue for about 9 months…or however long it takes for you to realize that you are, in fact, an idiot.
When you realize that this treatment might not actually be legit, please contact the police and have them arrest the technician on rape charges.
After all, you did not give consent to sex. Only to have him, medically, thrust his penis in and out of your vagina for long period of time. The fact that he ejaculated in your vagina at the end of the sessions was meant as a catalyst for the ointment to work properly.
This treatment was first put into effect in 2007 when a schoolteacher consented to a pilot to apply this treatment for a period of 9 months before she realized that the gynecologist he refers to might be his favorite porn star. She proceeded to have him arrested on rape charges, claiming that the experience was not erotic in any way and he had tricked her into having sex.
I’m not sure what’s scarier. The fact that she didn’t think it was erotic (Which could mean lack of orgasms for 9 months) or the fact that she is a school teacher…as in…she’s molding young minds.
Next time your daughter comes home from school and tells you how her gym teacher helped her apply ointment when she pulled a muscle, please check her vagina immediately and then proceed to get her into special education because her imbecile brain cells clearly outnumber the smart ones.
I bet she still thinks she’s a virgin…