July 10, 2007
Look deep in my eyes and lie to me.
“No, I don’t love you.”
Of course you don’t. You walked it out, didn’t you? A simple walk around the block cleared your cluttered mind. It was as simple as second grade math. Your fears plus the insecurities equal a terror of your love.
The passion was all a lie.
“I love you so much..I really do”
That soft, pleading voice didn’t belong to you. It wasn’t you that held me close while you whispered sweet nothings in my ear. It wasn’t your lips that touched my forehead gently as your hands held my face close. No. That was somebody else.
Look in my eyes. “I love you too”
You don’t know what you were thinking. You’re sorry but you can’t love me anymore.
“I don’t love you but I beg you…show me how much you love me. I crave the attention like a vampire craves the blood.”
Sure I’ll love you forever. Keep lying to me. My blood is yours. You can be my vampire in the dark in an alley way and throw me against the fence when you’re done. I’ll be there tomorrow when you need me…refreshed…ready to give my all to you all over again.
Your mouth spews forth the fear while your eyes show me your soul. I can see deep into your heart even in the dark. My ears are deaf to your fears.
When you hold me…your touch is electrifying. As our bodies become one your passion reveals your deepest secret. You belong with me because we fit so perfectly. We complete each other, as my legs wrap around your waist and our desires take us to a place where there are no fears…no insecurities…only us. Don’t worry…I won’t tell a soul.
Are you finished? No? Keep with your lies baby, if it makes you feel stronger. I’ll love you forever and a day.
For 2 years, I was a regular blogger on Myspace. In August of 2008, I left that behind to create the PQ Nation…the original writers of the Nation are amazing ladies who I met via Myspace. Blogging on Myspace was an outlet I needed in my life during 2 years when I was feeling lonely, frustrated and danced with becoming an alcoholic. For this Myspace reunion, I looked back on my posts to see if I could bring back a ‘classic’…and what I found was a girl trying to make sense of the world with blogs that were too playful, dangerous and sometimes, plain old nonsense. I wasted too much of myself in the drama-filled world of Myspace blogging (Though yes, at times, it was enjoyable to rant and waste time there)…
I’ve moved forward but for the Myspace reunion, I am reposting this piece that I wrote on July 10, 2007.