December 9 Challenge. Something that really made you grow this year. That made you go to your edge and then some. What made it the best challenge of the year for you? (This post is part of The Best of 2009 Blog Challenge, hosted by Gwen Bell.)
On June 1st, 2009, I took the biggest forward step of my life so far. Barely 24, I broke away from the guilt-filled ties that were holding me captive in a house in Virginia filled with awful memories and suffocating walls. I walked away, stepping aside the fear that I might lose connections forever…the fear that I would have to crawl back…the fear that I was just not meant to make it.
June 1st, 2009, was the first day of the rest of my life as an adult who finally broke free after promising to do it for 3 years. I took the leap with the help of my friends. I was afraid the parachute wouldn’t open. I was afraid that it was a leap in a dream…like a dream where I’m falling and will wake up back on the bedroom floor.
Instead I woke up in a room that didn’t feel like mine for the longest time, in a house with walls that held no memories for me. For the longest time, I couldn’t really sleep, and kept looking over my shoulder. For the longest time, I didn’t really feel like I had truly escaped…as if every morning, there was the danger of dreaming up drowning in the memories of yesterday.
Since that day, I’ve made new memories. Since that day, I’ve gone through some of the hardest periods of my life because I hit rock bottom. Since that day, I’ve destroyed and rebuilt a relationship with my father, ended a toxic friendship that kept dragging me back to yesteryear and since that day, I found myself again.
Moving out of my parents’ house was the hardest challenge of my life. There are days I don’t believe it really happened…like the other night, when I felt disoriented and a cough down the hall made me feel like I was back in my bed in that house and that cough was my dad…and my mom would be barging in through my door…
But it wasn’t him. She didn’t barge through my door and I was still moving forward in my journey to create a life for myself free of guilt.
If you missed it yesterday, don’t forget to check out and welcome our first male writer, J. Soul
The Biggest Clearance of the Decade is still going on.
A friend of mine wrote a very important post about a rare disease so check it out and inform yourself a little.