It was completely unplanned. She asked me if I had anyone in my life and a smile took over my face. I couldn’t stop. So I said yes.
It began with me telling her I was just seeing someone.
For over a year.
Oh, and my dad & bro have met him.
In between these little factoids, we went on tangents.
About my feelings, about our relationship and how much I wish it was better.
It just kept unfolding. Words kept flowing and eventually, I told her that I was engaged.
Oh and that we’ve been living together for a year.
I couldn’t stop gushing, and at the same time, I was so worried about her reaction. The reason we hadn’t told her was because we didn’t know how she would react.
“I don’t know how I would’ve reacted 6 months ago,” she told me the next day.
I didn’t plan to have this heart-to-heart with my Mom. The truth is, it’s been hard not being able to share my happiness with her. It’s been hard keeping secrets, and not being able to call her whenever I had something share.
The conversation got awkward at times. We’ve never been that close. My mom doesn’t really know me, hasn’t known anything about my life for the past 6 years.
The secrecy wasn’t because I wanted to keep her out. It was so I could find myself. I needed to make my own mistakes, find my own footing, and embrace my own feelings.
I know I’ve broken her heart at times when I lashed out. I lashed out because she had no idea what I was going through, and she may have thought I was being overdramatic when I got frustrated over work. In reality, I was probably frustrated over work, a broken heart & hurtful friends all at the same time on that day.
She didn’t know.
Saturday, as we sat in the living room of their new house, something was in the air. It was as if everything that I’ve been holding in my heart got released and was hanging above us, waiting for her to absorb it.
And she did.
I gushed over my life. I gushed over the man who would become her son-in-law.
I told her about how he makes me laugh when I need it the most.
I told her about the way he took care of me when I was sick.
I told her about how much I love him.
I showed her pictures of us, even the silly ones.
I just kept talking about him. I couldn’t stop.
When my dad came home from work, and she said “I guess our daughter is getting married,” he told her that Andrew was made for me.
This is a new chapter in our lives, as Mother & Daughter and as a family.
I think we’re all in shock.
Every time I talk to her, I’m afraid the magic will disappear.
There will still be times she frustrates me. She will say things, like all mothers do, that will make me want to hang up the phone. She’ll make me feel defensive. We’ll probably have a fight or two [or10].
I welcome those moments. I welcome them, because at the end of the day, we’re growing closer. I welcome them because we are now in a land of no secrets.
I welcome them because they’ll be far and few in between the conversations about how much men are alike and they never grow up.
I didn’t plan it but I think this may have been the best Mother’s Day present I could’ve ever given my mom.
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