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You Probably Won’t Like Me

There’s one thing you should know about me: You probably won’t like me.

The odds are, when we meet, your first impression of me will be that I’m either obnoxious (because I like to laugh and I get chatty when I’m nervous) or a bitch (because I get shy and quiet when I’m nervous). Once we make it past the first impression, you’ll give me a shot because I am a nice person.

If we meet over social media, you might find me too chatty because I use my networks to pass on information.  If you don’t find me too chatty, you may be offended by my random jokes because I like to laugh. I also like to cheer up the people around me so maybe I’m just trying to brighten up your day.

You probably won’t like me because you’ll think I’m fake.  The thing about me is that I don’t always have a filter so if I have been thinking about you, I’ll send you an email just to let you know that. Just because you crossed my mind. Maybe I read a blog of yours that really stood out to me. Maybe we don’t talk all the time but I’ll still let you know that you touched me in some way. The chances are you’ll find me overly nice and assume that I’m being fake. “No one can be that nice.”

When we become friends, you might not like me because I can be a tad flaky when it comes to replying to e-mails. I let the world overwhelm me and want to be there for everyone so I spread myself too thin and then let everyone down. (I’m working on this, I promise.)

When you read this blog, you might not like me because I do my best to stay positive despite life dragging me on my face at times. You may not like me because I try to see the silver lining.

You might not like me because I’m not the typical girl. My best friends are scattered all over the country so I don’t have the luxury of being able to have a girl’s night on a short notice. I don’t have weekly traditions because my best friend is on the other side of the country. I don’t gush over the same things and most of the time, my tolerance for the unnecessary is low. I don’t judge but I can’t participate.  I have tried. I’m still trying but I’m about to turn 26 and let me tell you: Finding girlfriends that you bond with in a short period of time is incredibly rare when you’re at this point in your life. There are days it gets me down and I might be depressed for a day or 7.  You definitely won’t like me then.

I’m pretty sure you don’t like me right now because when I do blog, I tend to get a little wordy.

Once you realize and accept the fact that you probably won’t like me, it’s up to you to stick to it. There are a lot of people who don’t like me, but the ones who do? They’re the ones who deserve my time so if you don’t like me, do us both a favor.

Don’t bother faking & move on.

“You spend so much of your life basing yourself on what you think other people think of you. Then you realize that maybe one of the purposes of life is not to care.” –Dustin Hoffman

Comments on this entry are closed.

  • Nanea Hoffman February 9, 2011, 4:31 am

    Nah, I think I’d like you. I think you’d like me, too.

    • Berrak February 9, 2011, 4:56 am

      I think I’d like you too 🙂

  • gypsy soul February 9, 2011, 4:36 am

    Um… I still like you in spite of all that. Actually, I think it’s because of all that that I do like you. 🙂 <3

    • Berrak February 9, 2011, 4:56 am

      It’s just because I get the icon love 😉 <3

  • Heather Becker February 9, 2011, 4:42 am

    Love love love

  • Wendryn February 9, 2011, 4:46 am

    Sounds like we have many of the same responses. So far, I like you. 🙂

    • Berrak February 9, 2011, 4:56 am

      Ditto 🙂

  • Aposhgirl February 9, 2011, 4:59 am

    Loved it!

  • magnolia February 9, 2011, 5:04 am

    preach. this is fabulous. 🙂

    • Berrak February 9, 2011, 5:11 am

      Haha, you said ‘preach’.

      I should’ve mentioned that I’m easily amused 😉

  • Lavenderdreems February 9, 2011, 5:27 am

    This is why I have followed you around the net for the last 4 years. Great write!

    • Berrak February 9, 2011, 1:28 pm

      Thank you!

  • Mominreallife February 9, 2011, 6:38 am

    You are my Internet twin sister. Let’s take over the world.

    • Berrak February 9, 2011, 1:28 pm

      As long as we do it Mo’Nique style

  • Hope February 9, 2011, 6:49 am

    I’m totally flaky when it comes to replying to emails too. Ditto with answering my phone. This was a great post, by the way. 🙂

    • Berrak February 9, 2011, 1:28 pm

      Oh, I hate talking on the phone too!

      Thanks 🙂

  • Cassie February 9, 2011, 1:34 pm

    pffffft, I’ve never liked you…heheheheheheh

    joking, of course!

    • Berrak February 9, 2011, 1:54 pm

      That’s because you loooooooooooove me

      • Cassie February 10, 2011, 8:31 pm

        MAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAYBEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

        lol

  • MalnurturedSnay February 9, 2011, 1:58 pm

    Love that Dustin Hoffman quote!

    • Berrak February 9, 2011, 2:09 pm

      Ditto 🙂

  • Sarahh812 February 9, 2011, 2:34 pm

    I like you for all these reasons and so many more. This post made me smile. Lots. We are different but the same in so many ways. 🙂

    • Berrak February 9, 2011, 5:58 pm

      <3 you woman 🙂

  • Liebchen February 9, 2011, 4:12 pm

    “your first impression of me will be that I’m either obnoxious (because I like to laugh and I get chatty when I’m nervous) or a bitch (because I get shy and quiet when I’m nervous)”

    To a T. Love it.

    And I’m really liking that comic.

    • Liebchen February 9, 2011, 4:13 pm

      Oops, clarification: that’s *me* to a T. You never came across as obnoxious or bitch to me. I just wanted your energy. 🙂

      • Berrak February 9, 2011, 5:59 pm

        I don’t know where my energy comes from, or I’d share, haha.

        <3

  • Suburban Sweetheart February 9, 2011, 5:27 pm

    <3

  • Jenny February 9, 2011, 6:05 pm

    I think I like you just from reading this, if only because you sound just like me! <3

  • heather bama February 9, 2011, 6:24 pm

    I feel the same way you do about myself. I often wonder, was I too chatty? Was I too outspoken? Was I too “me” or what did I do wrong? Are we just not mixing because of our differences in personality? Often it’s just life, but because I get lost in my thoughts I forget to plug in to the people around me. And because I am an introvert I forget that people like to be silly, not always intellectual, people don’t overthink as many things as I do.

    Mostly, it’s just life and I analyze everything to the point of extinction.

    • Berrak February 9, 2011, 8:38 pm

      I do that too. Not so much when actually interacting but when I make it home.

  • Cari Lyle February 9, 2011, 7:37 pm

    The cardboard joke about killed me. Here’s to laughing over ridiculously lame jokes!

    • Berrak February 9, 2011, 8:38 pm

      It makes me snort.

      PS: You’re one of the ppl who probably won’t like me b/c of unreturned emails.

      <3

      • Cari February 10, 2011, 1:14 am

        I’m notorious amongst my Seattle friends for being terrible at returning e-mails, calls, etc. As you can imagine, I was not well-liked when I lived across the country from them! On the plus side though, I totally don’t hold it against you. 🙂

        • Berrak February 10, 2011, 1:24 am

          Haha, OK, I appreciate that then 🙂 I just felt bad because I didn’t want you to think it was because of the negative news you gave me in your last email.

          <3

  • Anonymous February 9, 2011, 9:43 pm

    I read this and could totally identify with so much of it in relation to myself. Which makes me pretty sure I would LIKE you… 🙂

  • michelle February 9, 2011, 9:47 pm

    i already liked you, and i like you more because you like sinfest 🙂 here’s to not caring about people who don’t want to care about you

    • Berrak February 10, 2011, 1:09 am

      Sinfest is the bomb. <3

  • Clevelandpoet February 9, 2011, 10:06 pm

    wordy is hot.

    +1 for the cardboard joke

    I get the same a lot. I used to be really laid back when first meeting someone and wouldn’t really talk until it was earned. So a lot of people thought I “didn’t like them” and/or that I was mean looking–until they got to know me. It happens. A lot has changed and I’m more open at front, cept now that can be too much for people because 89% of people do not get my humor.

  • Melanie February 9, 2011, 10:15 pm

    Well written! You’re just keeping it real.

    • Berrak February 10, 2011, 1:10 am

      I try!

      Thanks 🙂

  • C February 10, 2011, 1:18 am

    I’m about to paste an entire paragraph you wrote to tell you how much I relate and how good that feels because I can’t just choose a line or two from it:

    “You might not like me because I’m not the typical girl. My best friends are scattered all over the country so I don’t have the luxury of being able to have a girl’s night on a short notice. I don’t have weekly traditions because my best friend is on the other side of the country. I don’t gush over the same things and most of the time, my tolerance for the unnecessary is low. I don’t judge but I can’t participate. I have tried. I’m still trying but I’m about to turn 26 and let me tell you: Finding girlfriends that you bond with in a short period of time is incredibly rare when you’re at this point in your life. There are days it gets me down and I might be depressed for a day or 7. You definitely won’t like me then.”

    Oh how much I feel this and understand it. My friends are all over the country and world, and there are days when I read DC blogs and twitter and am inundated with envy for all the women out there on girls nights every night of the week. It feels amazing to know that someone else understands that feeling. And to know someone else also knows just how incredible it feels to HAVE our best friends spread out everywhere. We have someone everywhere we go 🙂

    That said, this is incredible. It’s the first time I’ve visited your blog, and I can’t wait to read more. Thanks for writing in a very real, open, honest way. Look forward to hearing more of your story!

    -C

    • Berrak February 10, 2011, 1:39 am

      First of all, HI! 🙂

      I have a feeling there are more of us out there…we just don’t voice it as often 😉

      Let’s grab coffee darling.

      • C February 11, 2011, 9:52 pm

        Done! Let’s find a time in the next week or two.

  • suki February 10, 2011, 1:37 am

    Uh oh, think I might like you already. 😉 I’m the same way. I definitely do not make the best first impression. Being quiet is sometimes seen as snobby. 🙁

    • Berrak February 10, 2011, 4:57 pm

      Well, it’s their loss 😉

  • Liz Glomb February 10, 2011, 2:54 am

    best blog post i’ve read all week 🙂 and as someone who has to read hundreds a day for their job, that says a lot.

    also, i’m glad that you said this. I’d be lying if I didn’t say I feel a bunch of these thoughts everyday.

    keep it up!

    • Berrak February 10, 2011, 4:58 pm

      Thanks Liz!

  • Anonymous February 10, 2011, 7:26 pm

    Hi new Facebook friend…I like you! 🙂

    • Berrak February 10, 2011, 8:03 pm

      Hi new FB friend, I like you too!

  • Cherie February 10, 2011, 11:22 pm

    Life is too short to be anybody but who you are… you do it and LIKE it. 😀

  • spleeness February 11, 2011, 2:23 pm

    Like you? I think the world of you. I always thought highly of you and your blog and the way you shared your struggles in such a way to help others gain insight, and then we met in person and I thought wow, this is one incredible lady. What I know about you: you’re kind, genuine, caring, selfless, thoughtful, deep, optimistic and smart. What’s not to love? <3

    BTW, I'm the same way with being busy — most people who care about our well-being won't mind if we take a while to respond. I still have emails sitting in my inbox from 6 months ago waiting for replies and I thought just the other day maybe I will just file them. I always seem to have an avalanche of correspondence but look, people get busy. There's life to live. They'll know I'm thinking of them sometimes and that'll have to do. 🙂

    You go girl, the world is full of good people cheering eachother on. No time for the haters! lol (BTW that top pic with the puffin is hilarious!)

  • maggie February 13, 2011, 5:33 pm

    Loved the ‘card-bored’ joke. I’m very easily amused 🙂

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