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Letting Myself Be Human

“Sometimes I forget you’re human.”

I could barely hear the words because I was lost in my own head. This morning, I started the day crying because I was filled to the top. I needed to cry. I needed to be upset. I needed him to *let* me be upset instead of trying push me to feel better instantly.

Wounds need to heal. I deal with pain better if I let myself feel it. Maybe that’s a fault but it’s also the only way to completely heal.

Since last night, I’ve been planning, budgeting, trying to make it all work. As the Boy and I are merging our lives together, I need to deal with certain things on my own. This is who I am.

Sometimes, people around me forget that I’m human. I’m flattered and amazed at how strong people see me.  People that I respect and look up to reach out to me to tell me that I’m courageous and have my head together.

I’m flattered.

The key, though, is to let me be human.

Underneath that strength, I still have the usual emotions that everyone has to deal with…Do I function fine and still keep moving forward even when I have tears ready to roll down at any given moment? Sure.

That doesn’t mean I won’t ever let the tears roll.

I understand how that is difficult for people who care about me to see. We’re fixers.

We want to fix problems but sometimes…the only way to fix things is to let it go.

Even if it’s for a day.

I’m surrounded by love, respect and trust , for which I am endlessly grateful.

They have to have boundaries.

Love me enough to let me be human.

Respect me enough to give me the space I need to work through the pain.

Trust me to come to you for a hug (whether it’s physical or mental) when I’m ready.

I may be Supergirl 2.0 but even I have to take off my cape once in a while.

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Comments on this entry are closed.

  • Cassie June 3, 2010, 10:40 am

    I’m good at this…seeing as how I get very uncomfortable with people crying…I tend to give them LOTS of space…lol

    or a shoulder…

    or a good kick in the pants along with a ‘Get over it al-fucking-ready!’

    • PrincessQ June 3, 2010, 10:56 am

      Good kick in the pants is necessary once in a while too.

      PS: I promise I’ll try not to cry next weekend.

      • Cassie June 3, 2010, 11:02 am

        I wouldn’t make that promise if I were you….you never know what will go down when we all get together….lol

        • PrincessQ June 3, 2010, 11:03 am

          I said I’ll TRY…lol

          Oh, put a few drinks in me and I’m either giggling, crying or puking.

          Good times.

          • Cassie June 3, 2010, 11:04 am

            I missed the TRY, sorry….hahahahahahahah

  • chrissa June 3, 2010, 10:47 am

    Crying is the bomb.

    For real.

    PS-You are strong. You are courageous.

    It takes strength to allow yourself the freedom to feel. Take pride and solace in that baby girl.

    • PrincessQ June 3, 2010, 10:57 am

      Crying IS the bomb. I just don’t think men are equipped to handle it.

      PS: Love.

  • michelle June 3, 2010, 2:17 pm

    i think i have the opposite problem: letting the people closest to me see me as human. i was so terrified about the first time J saw me cry, and somehow the world didn’t collapse. but i still can’t fathom letting it happen again
    .-= michelle´s last blog ..nerds unanonymous =-.

    • PrincessQ June 3, 2010, 2:21 pm

      I used to be like that and then I realized that the people closest to me need to see me as human or else it’s scary for them.

      And for me.

      • michelle June 3, 2010, 3:18 pm

        yea… i need to work out that

  • Gypsy soul June 3, 2010, 9:37 pm

    I have the same problem. I’m really not good at crying. Last week though I couldn’t hold it in anymore. I think I cried harder then he has ever seene cry, ever. Made him cry too. I think my tears made him understand where I was coming from better than words ever could. Since I don’t cry often my breakdown made him realize the severity of the situation. But crying is not something I’m very comfortable with doing. Tears and I are not friends. I think it’s something I have to learn to do for myself to heal sometimes. I love you Hun. And I’m glad you’re human. Your humanity and flaws are some of my favorite gongs about you. 🙂

  • Suburban Sweetheart June 6, 2010, 7:17 pm

    Go easy on yourself when you need to. It is NOT a sign of weakness. <3

  • LiLu June 8, 2010, 1:35 pm

    Ugly cries are the best. I try to get one in at least once a month.

  • Leslie June 18, 2010, 10:27 pm

    Yeah, there’s nothing better than a really good cry! Helps me to deal with life so much better.

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