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I Used to Be That Girl, Pt. 2

Last year, I wrote this post about no longer being the girl “who was so broken, she let her sexuality scream loud so her scared whimpers couldn’t be heard.”

And then I moved out and managed to sink even lower than my past before emerging like a phoenix out of the ashes of a destroyed girl to become a woman.

I’ve come a long way since last summer alone.

I used to be the girl…

…Who was afraid of taking chances.

…Who thought she wasn’t good enough for true friends.

…Who believed she had to have a degree to succeed.

…Who no longer believed in love.

…Who let people walk over her just to avoid conflict.

…Who felt the need to write ‘crowd pleaser’ blogs.

…Who thought that blogs needed to have lots of comments to be ‘good’.

…Who stopped living for herself.

I want to stand as close to the edge as I can without going over. Out on the edge you see all the kinds of things you can’t see from the center.

~ Kurt Vonnegut, Jr.

Since then I’ve become the girl who jumps into snow piles in the middle of the night after dancing the night away. I’ve learned to take chances.

I’m no longer letting boundaries lock me in.

If you told me a year ago that I would be a freelance writer studying Journalism, about to move in with her incredible boyfriend, I would’ve laughed in your face.

If you told me a year ago that I would actually make it on my own, and still maintain a relationship with my parents, I wouldn’t have believed a word you said.

If you told me a year ago that I would be a part of this amazing blogging community and continue to meet wonderful people all over the country, I would’ve been pretty skeptical.

If you told me a year ago that I would have people in my life who love and respect me despite my quirks and that even if people don’t like me, I’d be confident enough to stick to who I am, I’d ask you what kind of drugs you were on.

In the last year, I have:

Traveled to Boston on my first domestic flight.

Seen two plays (One at the National Theatre and the other at the Kennedy Center)

Almost drowned and did a keg stand in the same night.

Transferred schools and took on a Journalism minor.

Became the DC 20Somethings Relationship Examiner.

Fell in love.

Made a fool of myself in public and had a blast doing it.

I have been pretty damn lucky but I’ve worked hard for it.

I’m about to turn 25 and even though I am nowhere near where I thought I would be in my life at the age of 25, I am on an even better path.

Next stop: Unknown but I’m gonna have a helluva good time getting there.

My only advice as a (almost) 25 year old?

Take chances and don’t be afraid to take a leap. Life is boring without the scrapes and bruises.


Comments on this entry are closed.

  • Liebchen March 25, 2010, 12:18 pm

    I like the reflective posts. It’s so important to recognize and be thankful for how far we’ve come.
    .-= Liebchen´s last blog ..That’s it? =-.

    • PrincessQ March 25, 2010, 12:23 pm

      I tend to get pretty reflective around my birthdays. It makes me feel even more grateful and gives me a sense of where I should be going

  • Dmbosstone March 25, 2010, 1:19 pm

    I get reflective on New Years.

    Also I’m glad are living life that’s why I never looked back when I high tailed it out of New England.
    .-= Dmbosstone´s last blog ..My New Suit, My New Job, And What I Learned =-.

    • PrincessQ March 25, 2010, 2:08 pm

      Yeah, that’s going to be me when I leave DC.

  • nahl March 25, 2010, 1:24 pm

    Can you tell me what changed you? Or how you managed this, new version?

    • PrincessQ March 25, 2010, 2:09 pm

      It was mostly making myself face the hard stuff and take a lesson from every difficult experience.

      It’s hard to grow without expecting better for myself and taking a lesson out of every event.

  • Cassie March 25, 2010, 1:34 pm

    having the nerve to say one day..”I’m not going to be that person any longer…” is all I needed….no one believes me when I say that I was painfully shy even through High School….and that’s a good thing!!!

    BE YOU!! No one can do it better!

    • PrincessQ March 25, 2010, 2:10 pm

      Exactly.

      God, I’d love to see you ‘shy’…haha

  • Aritza, Goddess of .. March 25, 2010, 2:16 pm

    Yay for you ! This is wonderful and you must feel really great about it :o) Congrats on all the positive changes you’ve made in your life, I’m sure life will be very exciting for you !
    .-= Aritza, Goddess of ..´s last blog ..Goddess of .. A simple math lesson with Aritza ! =-.

    • PrincessQ March 25, 2010, 3:43 pm

      Thank you very much 🙂

  • Wovoka March 25, 2010, 4:42 pm

    I think this might be one of the best pieces you’ve ever written…I am happy for, and, for what it’s worth, proud of you.

    • PrincessQ March 26, 2010, 9:19 am

      Thanks darling 🙂

  • BigMamaCass March 25, 2010, 8:01 pm

    Awesome. That is awesome. 🙂
    .-= BigMamaCass´s last blog ..Merry Christmas to all and to all… =-.

    • PrincessQ March 26, 2010, 9:19 am

      Thank you. 🙂

      • BigMamaCass March 26, 2010, 9:33 pm

        You are very welcome. I hope this doesn’t sound weird but… I am really proud of you. I wish I was there when I was 25 !

  • Suburban Sweetheart March 25, 2010, 9:26 pm

    Wait… a blog post DOESN’T need to have a lot of comment to be good???
    .-= Suburban Sweetheart´s last blog ..In Which I Am Served Mushrooms & Choose McNuggets =-.

    • PrincessQ March 26, 2010, 9:20 am

      Nope!

      For me anyway. It’s about being true to myself first and how I feel won’t always get comments and/or validation from others…that doesn’t make the blog any less important.

  • Liz March 25, 2010, 11:32 pm

    Yay yay yay!!! So happy for you and AMEN on taking chances!! You’re a badass! XO

    • PrincessQ March 26, 2010, 9:20 am

      Thank you baby. So are you! xoxo

  • Julie @ Wearing Mascara March 25, 2010, 11:53 pm

    I can so relate to this. I’m still struggling with many of the things you used to be.

    • PrincessQ March 26, 2010, 9:21 am

      I hit rock bottom hard and fast a couple of times in my life, which is why I’ve had to come this far this early.

      You’ll get there. You’re pretty damn amazing 🙂

  • MinD March 26, 2010, 2:03 pm

    What fabulous advice, and so true. I’ve done my fair share of risk-taking when it comes to my life, but really, I thought I had everything planned out just a few years ago. And my entire life is vastly different than what I thought it’d be at this moment, just a few months shy of my own 25th birthday.

    Crazy how things end up, huh?
    .-= MinD´s last blog ..Ripped from the Headlines: Vol. 5 =-.

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