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On Walking Away…

“We live in a fantasy world, a world of illusion. The great task in life is to find reality.” – Iris Murdoch

I have a problem with walking away…letting go…moving on.

I hold on to the pain and the POSSIBILITY of things being OK…I have to get my point across, explain myself, have the person UNDERSTAND…

Not realizing that sometimes, people are so wrapped up in their own head that they can’t see what you are trying to show them.

There is only so much you can do.

I have a problem with letting myself FEEL pain when I don’t have to…when it’s OK to let go and move on, I just hold on because I wonder maybe it’s something I missed…and there is just something there…if I find it, EVERYTHING will be better.

So I hold on.

I held on.

Now I’m learning to walk away.

I’m walking away from the past, the impossibilities, the pain, the weakness, the cowardice…

There are things worth hanging on to and fighting for, down to my last breath. I’ll never stop being persistent and not letting go when I KNOW something is worth it and there is the possibility of something beautiful. I just have to make sure I’m not masking the pain with a veil of once-in-a-blue-moon moments and hanging on to something that is real instead of what could be.

I’m walking away from the person I was, taking all the lessons I learned with me…towards the person I want to become.

Comments on this entry are closed.

  • Alana July 16, 2009, 8:22 am

    I think I have the same problem. It’s always hard, but I have faith in us. We’ll figure it out eventually when we meet the right people…
    .-= Alana´s last blog ..Confession: I have a blog =-.

    • PrincessQ July 16, 2009, 8:32 am

      I have faith in us too 🙂

  • Mike July 16, 2009, 8:30 am

    After reading your comment on livitluvit.com, I had to follow you back here.

    No TMI thursday.

    Still, I once walked away from something and it was the best thing I ever did. It isn’t the right move every time, but sometimes you have to.
    .-= Mike´s last blog ..Texting Retards =-.

    • PrincessQ July 16, 2009, 8:32 am

      I stopped doing TMI Thursdays for a while for personal reasons…but thanks for the follow. I hope maybe you’ll stick around? LOL

      Yeah…even if it’s the hardest thing, sometimes it has to be done.

  • Cassie July 16, 2009, 9:01 am

    LOL

    I think I have the opposite problem….I don’t chase enough most times! LOL

    I really don’t see hanging around persons that cause that amount of pain to me or anyone I love!!!

    • PrincessQ July 16, 2009, 9:53 am

      LOL

      It’s about finding that balance I guess

  • tinyshrimp July 16, 2009, 9:02 am

    **Hugs**

    • PrincessQ July 16, 2009, 10:58 am

      xo

  • Carol July 16, 2009, 9:18 am

    Thanks for the cosmic two by four this morning…it brought my own words from twenty years ago back to the forefront of my mind. The closing stanza: “Each of us has our own desperate hour~ a pain locked deep within our soul~ these are the truths i can not fight~ the toughest thing is still letting go.” Thank you for remembering that I cant (shouldn’t) fight my own truth.

    You are an inspiration…

    • PrincessQ July 16, 2009, 9:36 am

      <3

      I’ve missed you sunshine.

  • Lemmonex July 16, 2009, 9:19 am

    Some people just don’t deserve your anguish. When you can’t let go, they win.
    .-= Lemmonex´s last blog ..Just Shake Chica Shake Shake* =-.

    • PrincessQ July 16, 2009, 9:36 am

      Exactly

  • Carol July 16, 2009, 9:19 am

    shit…tired girl that i am….thank you for REMINDING me…

  • Patrick July 16, 2009, 9:41 am

    Walking away is something I’m about to write about this weekend, it is hard to do sometimes because you are so comfortable with whatever you walked away from- good or bad.
    .-= Patrick´s last blog ..TMI Thursday: A Messy Cab Ride =-.

    • PrincessQ July 16, 2009, 9:53 am

      Exactly…it’s a comfort zone, even if it’s a fucked up one.

  • f.B July 16, 2009, 9:56 am

    I’m too nice. I don’t sever ties when I should, or make people earn ties when I should. It’s going to be a fatal flaw. I just know it.
    .-= f.B´s last blog ..such great heights¹ =-.

    • PrincessQ July 16, 2009, 10:57 am

      It is a fatal…well, I wouldn’t say flaw.

      I have the same problem, and in order to make up for it…sometimes…I act too harsh and cut people off without giving them a chance.

      It’s important to see the difference.

  • Lauren July 16, 2009, 10:01 am

    Walking away is hard. I’m starting to learn how to do it, but I still have a long way to go.

    • PrincessQ July 16, 2009, 10:56 am

      Yeah, it is. But good for you for keeping at it.

  • LiLu July 16, 2009, 10:38 am

    That’s what life is… just keep on truckin’.
    .-= LiLu´s last blog ..TMI Thursday: Major League Wipeage =-.

    • PrincessQ July 16, 2009, 10:56 am

      Yes ma’am 🙂

  • Rick July 16, 2009, 4:30 pm

    Awesome! This is a realization everyone (but a lucky few) need to come to. It’s usually found the hard way and often too late. It’s definitely worth saving just read every once in a while to remind ourselves.

  • MinD July 21, 2009, 11:57 am

    That last quote sums everything up very well. And I’m the exact same way, which is why I’ve held on to friendships and stayed in relationships I know should have ended sooner.

    …And even though I *know* all of this now, I can’t imagine giving up and letting go of anything. It’s a great thing to realize, but it’s another to follow through with.
    .-= MinD´s last blog ..Ripped from the Headlines: Vol. 2 =-.

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