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On Being Considerate & Forgiving

I think I was raised too well. I’m not saying I’m perfect or I have the best manners but man…when it comes to being selfish, I’m a failure. If there were Olympics for manners, I’d get the gold medal in “Consideration” and I wouldn’t even qualify for being ‘Selfish’ and I would probably be laughed out of ‘Etiquette’…I’m a burp-and-be-proud kind of girl. Only in the right company of course…

But when it comes to being considerate of others, picking up after myself, helping other people, thinking about others if I’m going grocery shopping, picking up a knick-knack or something that a person mentioned they need…I’m golden.

Unfortunately, I’ve realized that not everyone will be that considerate…hell, they may not even qualify for the Manners Olympics…because they don’t think outside of the box…the box that is their own wants & needs, regardless of the people around them.

The problem is with me, I can’t change…I’m programmed this way. As much as I want to be a bitch and selfish…and say “Fuck everyone”…I can’t. That’s not me.

I don’t want to be a doormat either…

So how do I balance this?

I also give too many second…third…fourth chances. I want to forgive someone even if they hurt me…If they just apologized or reached out, more than likely, I’ll be ready to forgive them and give them another chance, hoping that their actions were a fluke…that they’re better than that…I justify their actions…hope for the best and get hurt yet again. I can’t stay mad at a person…even if I spend hours venting and cursing to my best friends about how angry & hurt I may be…there’s always a chance that if they ask, I’ll give them another chance.

I’m tired of being hurt and used. I’m also tired of the fact that unfortunately…most people suck…and like Sarah said to me this morning…there really is only one person that I can rely on…and that is just me.

The problem with that? I’m also the person 90% of the people in my life rely on…so where can I lean on to ease some of the weight off my soul?

Comments on this entry are closed.

  • Cassie July 8, 2009, 2:35 pm

    I’m a pretty good leaning post….just sayin!

    and seeing as how I’m just like in the regards of always trying to be there…I’d be pretty steady! lol

    Although, I have to admit…right now, I’m useless to everyone. I’m running home today and not coming out from under the covers until I HAVE to.

    • PrincessQ July 8, 2009, 3:02 pm

      Awww…what’s wrong?!

      • Cassie July 8, 2009, 3:04 pm

        a whole bunch of shit just all coming to a head at the same time and I’m avoiding dealing with it! lol

        • PrincessQ July 8, 2009, 3:06 pm

          LOL

          Well, as much as I whine, you know you can message me anytime if you just need to vent/unload.

  • Gypsy Soul July 8, 2009, 2:58 pm

    I’m the same way. That’s why I’ve had lovers who’ve gone and come back way too many times to mention. I can’t stay mad and I forgive far too easily.

    Also, I’m far to considerate of other people. Part of the manners thing to, I think. And I agree, most people are far less considerate of other people than I am. What to do?

    • PrincessQ July 8, 2009, 3:02 pm

      I’ve said this to you many times…We’re soul twins.

      I don’t know…I think we have to figure out how to not let things eat away at us and even if we’re considerate, not be hurt if the feeling isn’t appreciated or reciprocated.

      • Gypsy Soul July 9, 2009, 11:01 pm

        Well… I’m married to someone who is far less considerate of others feelings than I am. He tries to be considerate of mine, but anyone else and it’s “that’s just the way I am and they need to accept it”. There is some truth to that statement. And though I’ve always been a “do my own thing” kind of person, I’ve never been an “In your face” kind of person.

        I think it’s that mentality that has people calling our society “rude”. People are rude simply because they are selfish and inconsiderate of other people. I’m only ever that way after I’ve been pissed off… really pissed off. I can’t bring myself to be rude or inconsiderate at any other time. And even pissed off I still have boundaries.

        But it is really hard to be considerate of others and not feel totally run over when they are inconsiderate back. I often wonder why I can do so much for others, pay attention to them and then have them not do the same in return. Sucks sometimes, to be quite honest.

  • Patrick July 8, 2009, 3:43 pm

    So are you saying you are too trusting or you need someone to trust?

    • PrincessQ July 8, 2009, 3:51 pm

      Both.

  • shine July 8, 2009, 3:49 pm

    So yeah, I’m pretty sure when I die, on my tombstone it will read, “Here lies shine, she was fucking helpful. To everyone. All the time.”

    I’m working on being a little less forgiving. Which just makes me feel shitty, but I can’t keep getting stepped on. I got betrayed recently by someone who I thought was my friend and I cut. Her. Out. And I’m proud of it!

    Oh, by the way, hi. You don’t know me and here I am laying out my life’s issues and shit. But something about this post really spoke to me. Well said. And thanks!
    .-= shine´s last blog ..In which I make fun of my sister a little bit and hope she can take it. Love you sis! =-.

    • PrincessQ July 8, 2009, 3:54 pm

      Hi!! I love new people ๐Ÿ™‚

      I’ve been betrayed by one too many people…so I’m doing my best not to be too trusting but man…it’s hard to turn off something that’s natural.

  • phampants July 8, 2009, 4:54 pm

    I always give people the benefit of the doubt. This is why I have been hurt so often
    .-= phampants´s last blog ..Weโ€™re All Just Normal People =-.

  • Jaime July 8, 2009, 6:05 pm

    You can lean on me. Always. Without a doubt. I can take a little more weight. And you know I love you so much!
    .-= Jaime´s last blog ..Eff that I said! =-.

    • PQ July 8, 2009, 11:43 pm

      I love you muchly!

  • inkpuddle July 8, 2009, 6:49 pm

    Yeah. As happy as I am to be everyone’s go-to person, it does rather suck not to have one of my own when shit hits the fan. But that kind of feeds into the whole doormat issue, I guess–too much give, too little take. Beh.

    And ditto on the overly forgiving/too trusting bit; I give too many people too many chances. Damn that good ol’ Southern raisin’. ๐Ÿ˜‰

    • PQ July 8, 2009, 11:44 pm

      Yeah, I hear ya. When I need people…or when my shit hits the fan, that’s when the others are usually having their WORST CRISIS EVER…So I drop my shit and help them…

      Ah well…it is the nature of the beast.

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