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The Winds of Change

When the phone rings, I no longer have a sinking feeling in the pit of my stomach thinking “What now?”

There are no more secrets, only confidence.

There is no more turmoil, only peace.

There are no shadows, only a sea of light.

The next step in my life is to figure out how to live it for me. I no longer have to be responsible for anyone else. And to do that, I need help…Professional help. Up until this moment, I’ve handled everything on my own, getting over the hurdles and hiding the struggles from the ones closest to me. I cried myself to sleep and then hid the evidence. I hit rock bottom yet I acted like I was on top of the world.

These days? I have a constant smile on my face. For the first time, I feel like everything is going to be OK…and it’s probably about time that I get my shit together.

On my birthday, I made this list…

So this is the year I…
Move out. Huge, if you’ve known me for longer than 5 minutes, you already know.
Finish my degree? Possibly.
Launch my business? Quite possibly.
Travel off the east coast? After I move out, fo’ sure.
Publish my first book? It might just be an e-book but yes.
Start dating? *blank stare* We’ll come back to that one.
Derail and have to rethink my plans? Most likely.
Survive? Always.
Find a reason to laugh everyday? Without a doubt.
Intimidate people by being as real as it gets? I don’t think I have a choice.
Love? Unconditionally.
Be afraid? Aren’t we all sometimes?
Make new friends, get stronger with the old ones & weed out the shit ones? Every.day.
Live? Even if it terrifies me.

I did number one…number 2 takes some time (Though I did pass my two classes…) So it’s time for the rest.

I’m going to keep blogging but I’m also going to be launching my new two sites in the next month and focusing on making business plans. Because I know that more than anything, I want to keep writing. I just have to get back on track of writing professionally instead of without structure.

So naturally, Blog 365 is out the window this year…but it’s been a good run. Now I’m going to focus on writing professionally, putting my life on track and enjoying my time with my friends…Because let’s face it…I have a lot of catching up to do.

When did you make the biggest change of your life? Did you take a completely new direction or stayed on track with your goals? What was a big hurdle that you’ve overcome in your life so far?

Comments on this entry are closed.

  • justjp June 9, 2009, 8:34 am

    That is respectable list of things to accomplish. I have done several “lists” before and I have come to one conclusion: Having many small accomplishments keeps you motivated. Take on too many big things at one time and it will eat your energy. But I feel you on this.

    justjp’s last blog post..Old Skool

    • PQ June 10, 2009, 7:27 am

      I try to go for the small accomplishments but keep the big things in mind.

  • Cassie June 9, 2009, 8:40 am

    When did you make the biggest change of your life? one year ago tomorrow, when I signed the dotted line and FINALLY had all my paperwork taken care of to buy my property

    Did you take a completely new direction or stayed on track with your goals? My life has always been as straightforward as possible to get to that goal

    What was a big hurdle that you’ve overcome in your life so far? graduating college was my biggest hurdle…..not even really graduating..Calculus was my biggest hurdle!!!!

    • PQ June 10, 2009, 7:27 am

      I remember when all of that was going on!! I can’t believe it’s been a year!!!

  • f.B June 9, 2009, 10:53 am

    Yes: definitely be prepared to rethink. It’s not about failure. It’s just about change. And sometimes it’s exactly what you need.

    Also, because I have the brain of a tall 5th grader: “I did number one…number 2 takes some time” made me laugh. I BET number 2 takes some time.

    Annnd I’ll go now.

    f.B’s last blog post..service i didn’t demand

    • PQ June 10, 2009, 7:28 am


      Your comments always put a smile on my face 🙂

  • [F]oxymoron June 9, 2009, 11:17 am

    JustJP said it best – once you start taking those small steps, before you know it, you’re running.

    [F]oxymoron’s last blog post..Could This Happen In DC? If So, Where?

    • PQ June 10, 2009, 7:29 am

      That’s what seems to be happening and I love it!

  • Jaime June 9, 2009, 11:24 am

    I think the biggest change of my life is yet to come. Everything will change when Walter comes home from war. I’m anticipating it and at the same time I’m frightened of it. I don’t know how I’ll handle anything that comes at me after this coming weekend. Life. Will. Never. Be. The. Same.

    Jaime’s last blog post..This message is brought to you by Bloggy Von Boringface.

    • PQ June 10, 2009, 7:29 am

      You will be fine 🙂 I’m proud of you.

  • LiLu June 9, 2009, 1:23 pm

    You are on a good path, my dear… and you will rock it.

    LiLu’s last blog post..I am the Lamest Super Hero Ever

    • PQ June 10, 2009, 7:30 am

      With friends like you, how can I fail? <3

  • MinD June 11, 2009, 5:01 pm

    What a great list, and even just working on the second is a good start, if you ask me. I’m horrible at keeping goals, so all my best to you!
    [rq=3628,0,blog][/rq]Feel the burn.

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