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Cheese-dick style, with a shoot and wink

You guys know this right?

I wear a rubber at all times, it’s a necessity!

Well…here’s the LADIES RESPONSE!! I LOVE IT!!

Those girls are HOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Douchebags all across the club
Ladies’ night straight poppin’ the bub
Stalker eyes right above his drink
Cheese-dick style, with a shoot and wink
Snatch the ring from its hiding place
Flip the bird right in your face
Leave the bar, to escape your glance
Cross the room, now its time to dance
You sneak behind, don’t mind, I guess
Until your dongs on my cocktail dress
Cold as ice, yet you advance
And say you might, jizz in your pants
and I PUKE IN MY MOUTH
Swallow it back, I need some room
Plus I said Ive got a groom
I turn away, you start to pout
AND I PUKE IN MY MOUTH
You ruined my night, esophagus hurts,
Take a hint, Im not here to flirt
Round up the girls, its time bounce
Now I’ll go brush my teeth

I’m 15 late for my Yoga class
Kick through the door, now I’m up in that ass
Find a spot, last in the room
Focus, breathe, now its time to ohhhhmmmm
Thats when I noticed this guy behind me
Quite a big smell from a guy so tiny
Pit-stained T-shirt drenched in sweat
O-face grin, bad as it gets
He made a grunt, then his body turned
Saw up his shorts to his inner-thigh perm
AND I PUKED IN MY MOUTH
Upside-down, so it’s even worse
Son of Shiva, what a curly curse
Help me please, I could use a towel cause I
PUKED IN MY MOUTH
Why are there dudes up in Yoga class?
Nonchalant, looking at my chest
Please stop staring when I’m on my knees
Plus bearded men shouldn’t wear capris
Last week, I was on a site
As I recall, it was a Facebook site
In my bed with a piece of toast
Checked my wall and saw your post and I
PUKE IN MY MOUTH
Soaking in the tub like a f***ing queen
Need to relax, need to feel the steam
A bubble comes up that reminds me of you and I
PUKE IN MY MOUTH
The next day, I put on jeans and PUKED IN MY MOUTH
I opened the fridge and a fruit rolled out, I PUKED IN MY MOUTH
When I saw Tom Cruise in Valkyrie I PUKED IN MY MOUTH
I drank a Kombucha and I PUKED IN MY MOUTH
I just felt PUKE IN MY MOUTH
I puke right in my mouth, every time you’re next to me
And when you spit your game, it’s like a train wreck to me
You’re such a royal douche, I don’t know why you step to me
Forget a rubber, you should go get a vasectomy
PUKE IN MY MOUTH…

Comments on this entry are closed.

  • clairemontgomerymd May 16, 2009, 10:30 pm

    i LOVE the puke in my mouth song/video! thanks for sharing.

    clairemontgomerymd’s last blog post..i found god at the bar

  • Jaime May 17, 2009, 1:17 pm

    The first video is the funniest. When T-Pain sings “never thought I’d be on a boat” I cracked up.

    Jaime’s last blog post..I LOVE…Fridays

  • Just A Girl May 17, 2009, 8:58 pm

    Fucking. Awesome. I SO feel like that sometimes.

  • Julie May 18, 2009, 2:24 am

    Hahahaha I’m so happy you appreciated that video… I LOVE IT!

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