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It’s My Wedding & I’ll Bitch If I Want To

(This is one of my classic posts & since our very own Squish is getting married…I figured it was a good time to bring it back. In totally unrelated news, if you like what you see & are on Twitter, you can share it very easily with that pretty little button that’s on the right side *points* kthnxbai)

This blog was originally written in November, 2006

It always suprises me how amazingly shallow people are these days. I was listening to the radio this morning and there was a woman on there who wanted advice about the following issue.

Her wedding is in January…and one of her bridesmaids has gained some weight so the “bride” wants the friend out of the wedding party. She just doesn’t know how to tell her without hurting her feelings.


“Hey…I know we’ve been friends for 9 years…but you know…you’re kinda fat now. I mean, you munching on twinkies and spending your nights with Ben & Jerry’s is going to make MY wedding pictures look bad. I’m sure that you’ll be uncomfortable being the only one who isn’t a size 4 since all of my other friends are skinny. I mean, come on…when have you ever seen me with a girl that was too big to fit into Limited Too clothes? So…I’m going to ask you to not be a bridesmaid anymore…but you can TOTALLY hand out programs or something…ya know, because you’re my friend and I love you.”

As if I wasn’t baffled enough, the DJ started taking calls…and the “bride” had the audacity to tell people that she thought they must be fat because they’re disagreeing with her.

“Well, I talked to the other bridesmaids and they completely agree with me. I mean, we can’t have her taking over the entire picture. My fiance? Yeah, he’s OK with it because you know, he’s stupid enough to fall in love with a shallow person like me. It’s because I look like a barbie and I give good head…”

Ya know, I bet you the bitch has an ugly face. Someone with a heart that ugly HAS to have an ugly face, no matter how tone her body is…

“I began going to a personal trainer the day I got engaged”.

Yes, because being incredibly thin in your wedding pictures is the most important thing.

“Do you know how much it would cost to get extra material for her dress?”..
The DJ asked if he covered the cost of the material, if that would solve the issue.

“Well, I think that she would just be uncomfortable the whole day because of her weight and I honestly don’t need that stress on my wedding day.”

What if she’s listening to the radio?

“Well, that will totally solve my problem, won’t it? Because she’ll just drop out of the wedding herself. I’m a complete coward so I came on the radio with the hopes that she’ll listen. I’m afraid that she’ll sit on me if I ask her to not be in the wedding because she’s bigger than the rest of us”

I love how the DJ said…

“I totally disagree with you and I think this is horrible…but I’m taking calls just because I’m enjoying people whooping your butt on the air”

Seriously people…is this how shallow we are? I personally do not give a fuck how my friends look..if you’re one of my best friends, you are going to be in my damn wedding…even if you had a paint accident the day before and your face is completely blue.

IF YOU’RE MY FRIEND, I WANT YOU THERE TO SHARE MY JOY…PERIOD. I mean, I have to go and live with a boy for the rest of my life…it’s the least you can do!

Know any good BRIDEZILLA stories? What would you do if you were the friend? Guys…what about if this was YOUR fiance?

Bring on the discussions.

Comments on this entry are closed.

  • Tori March 23, 2009, 9:32 am

    Oh hell no. That’s the cuntiest thing ever. I hope her fiance left her for a girl with some curves…would serve her right.

  • Cassie March 23, 2009, 9:37 am

    I can’t fault the bride-to-be…I wouldn’t want any fat people in my wedding pictures either!!! hahahahahah

    b-4 I get blasted:
    1) I am overweight and
    2) There will be no wedding, hense the resaon there will be no fat ppl in my wedding pictures!! hahahahahahaha

    AND…I would want the bride to tell me…be a damn woman about it…b/c then I can find new friends that love my fat ass for me and so I could find her the day b-4 her wedding and give her a black eye!!!!

  • pecosa March 23, 2009, 10:30 am

    Ugh. What a bitch! She’s going about this the wrong way. If she really is interested in how her friend will feel, she should talk to her about it or ask her to join the gym with her.

    And if I was the friend, I think I would get my ass to a gym and reshape my curves…just being honest. I don’t want to be upstaged by a skinny bitch.

  • Tinyshrimp March 23, 2009, 11:12 am

    I remember this post and I still think that it is completely wrong. Some women are HORRIBLE when it comes to their weddings. I was in a few where the brides refused to have the girls in pretty dresses because “They are NOT going to look better than me!”

    I’ve also had one say “The dresses I’ve picked don’t come in your size. Do you think you can lose enough weight to fit into it by my wedding?” She actually got upset when I told her that if she HAD do have that dress then I was fine with her picking someone else. I ended up still being in the wedding AND wearing that dress. I lost just enough to fit into it, but I still looked like a rolled up cocktail wienie with a fancy tooth pick (the long stemmed flowers) stuck through me from the back.

  • NotAMeanGirl March 23, 2009, 12:21 pm

    See… that’s just stupid. Yes… it’s her wedding… but a wedding is supposed to be about the love between two people and the creation of a family… who gives a flying fuck if your bridesmaids are fat?

    People put their emphasis on the wrong things so much of the time… *Shakes head in disbelief*

  • Sarahh March 23, 2009, 12:28 pm

    The last wedding I was in I weighed 185lbs. It was 6 months after I gave birth to my son. I kept asking her are you SURE you want me to do this. She didn’t care one bit. It is all about the person. If the person is that worried about what their pics look like and not about her friends then well, she is a skinny whore.


  • LivingWicked March 23, 2009, 1:05 pm

    wow. i dont have anything else but that.

    i would punch abitch.

    also, if someone has poundage… and it is THAT big of a deal… I wouldnt want to be their friend.

  • Miss Tricky March 23, 2009, 4:48 pm

    Personally, if I ever have a wedding with bridesmaids and whatnot I am going to force feed those bitches Big Macs for months. Pork ’em all up so I am the skinniest bitch at the party! Doesn’t that bride know that ugly bridesmaids only make her look better?!? God!
    Some people are dumb.

  • Maxie March 23, 2009, 6:54 pm

    This is so ridiculous. This is why some weddings have mixed dresses…so each person can find a flattering style. The girl was OBVIOUSLY a bitch. not sure why the bigger girl was friends with her in the first place.

  • Devyl March 24, 2009, 12:08 am

    I hope the “overweight” bridesmaid found out about her so-called friend’s attitude, dumped the friend, and moved on with her life. No need to return the ugliness. No need to be petty and vindictive. Just know this is not a friend you want to keep in the future.

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