You know what’d be nice? If I could go back to being the way I was freshman year in college when I could go for days just on a couple of hours of sleep and still be functional.
Now I’m like a friggin zombie if I don’t get a couple of hours a night.
Come on. I can’t sleep but I need to be able to function. We have got to work this out.
So I’m back to school, as you guys know. Most of you didn’t know me back in the day when I was still in school full-time. When I first walked into that good old Starbucks on campus a couple of years ago, a wave of emotion just hit me. That Starbucks, that campus, those streets, those buildings…Oh if they could talk. I’ve had the best days, the worst days, the strangest days, the weakest days, the scariest days of my life on that campus. As I walk down the street, I see myself, 4 years ago, on the phone.
Crying. Laughing. Upset. Rejected. Loved. Betrayed. Wanted. Neglected. Scared. Brave. Alone.
The Starbucks has changed a little bit. Naturally, the people changed. So did the ‘layout’. I was hoping that enough time had passed that I can walk those streets without being hit of fear. Most of those memories, the way I felt back then, I’d like to forget. I was young, and scared. I braved a lot and I pushed through a lot. And then I hit rock bottom. I would spend basically endless hours at that Starbucks, not going to class, not going home. I’d fool myself and say that I’d do classwork when all I’d do was spend time in a black hole. Because I just couldn’t figure out where to hang on to climb back out of the hole.
Now, 3 years later, I’m out of the hole. There are days I am not strong enough to look back because it’s as if I’m stuck in that moment, the darkness bearing down on me. And there are days I can look back and laugh at the good things.
Sometimes I do wish for Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind…
Is there such a place for you that brings back memories, good or bad? If you went back years later, what memory would be the strongest for you associated with that place?
Take me down your memory lane…