I have no real blog for today. I was working on the site so much last night that I think my blogging mechanism was shorted out and the coding mechanism took over.
I have a few random thoughts and who knows, maybe by the end of the blog, I’ll have new year resolutions.
There’s something about gas station hot chocolate. When I went to get gas this morning, I just needed something warm so I grabbed some hot chocolate. It sure brought back memories. When I was in high school, I used to love going to the gas station across the street for some hot chocolate before school. Such defiance! Our senior year, my best friend Jackie and I started going to Dunkin Donuts for bagels and hot chocolate almost every morning before class. We had a great routine down…as we did throughout our entire friendship. I think about the good times a lot lately…and wonder how she’s doing. Maybe the first thing I should do in 2009 is send her an email? I hate how we drifted apart when I was dealing with my demons. We were inseparable through high school and the first couple of years of college…I don’t believe that we grew apart. It was me that just grew away from everyone and the distance didn’t help.
Going from being stuck at the hip and being able to see friends everyday to being so separated from everyone definitely made its impact on me. When I started college, I didn’t make many connections. Being a commuter and feeling like an outsider really didn’t encourage me to make friends.
I think I want that to change. Last night, there was a commercial on TV for…a phone company? Either way, it was people ice skating. I told my dad that I want to go ice skating. He told me that there should be a rink near our house. Then I turned to him and said
“I want friends”
He called me a dork but something in his voice told me that he knew exactly what I meant.
I’m tired of being on the outside looking in. I want to make more connections with people I can actually hang out with rather than those who are halfway across the country. This isn’t me saying I don’t love my friends…because I do. But I’m at a point in my life where I need to be making memories…physically.
I’m starting classes on the 12th…I’m a little nervous. I want to make connections but like Leandra said today…I have to talk to people. We just talked yesterday about how I can be shy. I wonder if I’ll try to make connections and feel completely dejected if I get really shy…and revert back to my shell again. I promise I’ll do my best to make an effort. Being in a work environment with people that I can relate to has helped a little…but I still feel awkward sometimes.
Everyone tells me 2009 is supposed to my year. Maybe I should set goals for myself to make it so…
In 2009, I need to:
** Complete my degree. Or at least take as many classes I can to move forward.
** Be more outgoing. Don’t let what happens at home impact how I am outside.
** Put myself first more often. Remember that my feelings count too.
** Be better with money. Pay off as much debt as I can and start saving.
** Write more. Write with variety. Push my limits.
** Don’t let one person monopolize my time, thoughts and feelings.
** Smile more.
** Be healthier.
** Take care of my appearance more than I do.
** Go after what I want.
** Not let the past demons sneak up and impact my future.
**When you are done here, don’t forget to visit Wicked’s blog and tell her your Best & Worst Moments of 2008! **