(Since it’s coming down to the wire for 2008, I figured I’d start re-posting some of Best of the Best posts of the year…Enjoy!)
I was never the girl that believed in all of the stories of Disney. I grew up reading books and watching Ren & Stimpy, ALF & action movies. It wasn’t until I grew a little older when I started watching Disney movies and started noticing the Prince Charming of every story. We all know Prince Charming…
For every Disney Princess, there was a Prince Charming. Perfect smile, courteous, willing to go to the ends of the earth for his love. Every story had a happy ending and it was OK for us to have those misconceptions when we were little kids but then Prince Charming began to spill over into every romantic movie. Every love story had a Prince Charming of its own and slowly, our views on relationships as a whole began to fit into a mold.
The reality is that no relationship can fit into a mold. There are countless articles in magazines every month on how to please your man and how to make sure that he fits into a mold. There are websites and books devoted to the subject of “Don’t change your man BUT this is what your relationship should be like.” We forget that it’s OK if our relationship can’t be measured by a quiz in a magazine or rules from a TV show.
The way that you and your partner fit together is like a puzzle. Every piece is dependent on who you are and who he is…The little quirks, the experiences you bring with you and your expectations. Your relationship is based on your growth together, the words you bring to the table and the little things that make you smile in a way that makes sense to you. The day you stop comparing your relationship to the expectations of the rest of the world is the day you will be happy and healthy with your partner.
For me? I’d rather have a Prince Charmin™. The kind of guy who’s dependable and soft but sturdy when he needs to be. Someone that I can count on to make me laugh but be there for me in my quiet moments when I need to just be held. I’d rather have the guy who lets me know that he’s there rather than a guy who follows the guidelines of “How to be the perfect boyfriend”. I’d rather have a guy who knows MY quirks and who knows that sometimes I just need to be stupid to forget about my stress…or know that if I am a little afraid of happiness, it’s OK because with patience, I’ll come around.
For me, a relationship doesn’t have to fit into a mold. I don’t have to justify my relationship by putting a label on it because the rest of the world only understand words like “boyfriend”, “roses”, “PDA”, “anniversary”. If it makes sense to me…and it makes sense to him…my happiness only depends on ME, not the rest of the world.
Life is too short to try and have your happiness judged and justified to be validated because while you’re waiting for confirmation from others that you’re happy, you could be missing all the best moments that will define your memories of happiness and love.
So go ahead and indulge in the romantic movies because we all need a little hope and mush in our lives…but remember to take a step back and learn to define who you are…and look for your own Prince Charmin™ who’ll make sure that you are taken care of by YOUR standards.
What works for you in your relationships? What do YOU look for in a partner?