My horoscope can suck it. No, really. It’s telling me that even though I have to choose responsibility over independence, I have to get over it. Why? I’ve been getting over it for YEARS. I have a family that drains me emotionally and I support them in every way I can. You know what I get? Abuse. No appreciation whatsoever. My dreams crushed. And to top it off, these days, I feel like I can’t depend on anyone else. I feel lonelier than I ever have and I don’t know how to “get over it.”
So dear stars, please choke on a fat one and die.
I’m trying to stay positive. Through it all, I wake up everyday, hoping that this day will be a good one. Squish said she wouldn’t have known that I was in a bad mood the past few days. So I guess I still have what it takes to cover up the pain. But for how long, I don’t know. I’m going to be home for 3 days next week. 5 days with the weekend. I.am.dreading.it. My brother can’t understand how much pain and anguish he’s causing ME by picking fights with my mom. When I was his age and I was going through the abuse, I held on to be strong for HIM.
I’m always strong for everyone else.
When will it be my turn to be able to seek comfort in someone or will I just keep being drained until there’s absolutely nothing left?
I’m trying…I swear I am. But some days, all I can do is crawl under the covers and cry.
A Little Inspiration
People are often unreasonable, illogical, and self-centered;
Forgive them anyway.
If you are kind, people may accuse you of selfish, ulterior motives;
Be kind anyway.
If you are successful, you will win some false friends and some true enemies;
If you are honest and frank, people may cheat you;
Be honest and frank anyway.
What you spend years building, someone could destroy overnight;
If you find serenity and happiness, they may be jealous;
Be happy anyway.
The good you do today, people will often forget tomorrow;
Do good anyway.
Give the world the best you have, and it may never be enough;
Give the world the best you’ve got anyway.
You see, in the final analysis, It is between you and God;
It never was between you and them anyway.