The past few days have sucked. As much as I tried to be in a good mood, I was cranky and whiny and EVERYTHING got on my nerves. I HATE it when I’m like that. I snap at people and just hate my life…but I tried really hard to stay positive. What bothered me the most was that I reverted back to that insecure girl with doubts and the outlook that I was going to lose my friends. That was the hardest night of this week.
My moods cycle a lot lately.
I can’t believe it’s almost 2009. I can’t believe the past 4 years have passed the way they did. I can’t believe that I’m still going strong.
I’m glad the new year is coming. I love new year’s. Time for change. No matter how symbolic and hypothetical it might be, I like the idea of a fresh start because every DAY is a fresh start. In just the last 6 months alone my life has changed. Imagine how much it will in the next 6. The next year…The only bad thing that has remained constant in my life is the hardest thing for me to overcome. But I will do it.
I’ve survived everything else so that can’t be that much harder, right? (Of course Im in denial and it’s much much harder…)
I love my new job though. And I love writing…I just need to KEEP writing. Through everything.
There are days I’m not happy with the site because there is so much MORE I want to do with it…but then I remind myself that I *am* doing it on my own so it’ll come along a lot slower and that is OK. I do have the most amazing ladies that are by my side and our site is growing. I’m talking to a new writer now…and her page should be up by the new year.
And then…the site will have a new look. All the pages will have new looks or at least cleaned up ones.
Everything will fall into place.
Everything always does.