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Twi-Not: My official Twilight Review

Let me just say that if you haven’t seen the movie, don’t read on because I do plan on being incredibly brutal.

I am a Twilight fanatic. The books, the characters, the plot…amazing, incredibly, breath-taking and fills a need in every woman’s life for that hope of the right man…even if he’s an immortal.

When I found out that there was going to be a movie, I was excited but skeptical. How could they transform such a book into a movie? The most critical aspect would be the chemistry between Bella & Edward.

When I first found out that Robert was cast for the role of Edward, I was disappointed. He so wasn’t the Edward in my imagination but I wanted to give him a chance. Maybe he’d dazzle us all because Robert and Kristen had good chemistry in interviews…

That’s where their chemistry ended because in interviews, they were natural. There were only two scenes in the movie where they captured that chemistry. The rest felt like a poorly written teen drama…not Twilight.

I tried…I REALLY tried to be open minded about the movie and give it a fair chance.

Robert might be a good actor. He might be a great actor but my first impression of him was a kid trying way too hard to play a character who was supposed to be elegant and intriguing. He was a bad choice for a character who had a lot going on for him in the imaginations of the biggest target audience, who were fans of the book.

The scenes between Bella and Edward were forced and overplayed, making it seem like an incredibly amateur movie. The support characters were poorly cast, especially Eric and Mike. The entire effect of the movie was incredibly misguided. Every time Edward or Bella tried to be dramatic, they appeared spazztic instead.

What I want to know is, how is it that a movie’s special effects could be so childish, especially in 2008? The Cullens are supposed to have smooth, marble like, pale skin and the best they could do was incredibly heavy white powder? In the scene where Edward exposes himself in the sunlight, it looks like he just got home after a night at the club where an entire batch of glitter was dumped on him and stuck to the powder.

I mean, COME ON! They couldn’t do better than that?!

Honestly, the James/Laurent/Victoria trio were much better vampires than all the Cullens combined…

And what was with throwing all the cheesy key lines out there as if trying to fill a quota? How about making the movie a little longer so that it could flow better? Let’s face it. The audience who read the book would’ve gladly sat through a 3 hour Twilight movie if it was better scripted.

The only scenes that really saved the movie were the ones with Bella’s dad…and the one scene between Edward and Bella where Edward is inviting her to meet his family…There was no forcing of the lines there. The chemistry flowed naturally and I honestly would’ve preferred it if that was how it was throughout the movie.

I still love Edward Cullen and Bella Swan. I will cling on to the hopes that Stephanie Meyer finishes Midnight Sun so I can devour it and I might re-read the series once or 10 more times in my lifetime…

But Robert Pattinson and Kristen Stewart as Edward and Bella?

Thanks but no thanks. You can take your caked-up Robert Pattinson and I’ll keep my Edward Cullen.

Comments on this entry are closed.

  • Jennette November 23, 2008, 5:15 pm

    I haven’t read the books, but I find the comments of people who have intriguing. This is the second review I’ve found from someone who loved the book but was quite disappointed by the movie. It’s too bad when captivating books are made into lackluster films..

  • Just Jen November 23, 2008, 5:21 pm

    So, tell me, how do you REALLY feel? LOL

    Considering that we were texting through a good part of the movie – it clearly sucked. The scenery was nice though. – made me want to visit La Push

  • Chrissa November 23, 2008, 8:20 pm


    I get what you’re saying…but I felt SO different after seeing it the second time. For what they had, I think they did a good job.

    I do think it REALLY needed to be at least 3 hours.

    As for Rob? Good. The means I will keep him all of myself. I’m still in love with him.

    And Edward. Just not as much.

  • karla November 24, 2008, 1:59 am

    Okay, so I didn’t read the book, but still I walked out of that movie theatre feeling sorry for the kids that were in the audience. They were mostly teenage girls all excited to watch this teenage vampire romance.

    Basically the story goes like this. Girl with “Daddy gone issues” meets the most attractive guy in school that just happens to be a vampire. He has a really nice car, super human powers and has lived several hundred years so he knows all the moves. They both claim to be in love and various ridiculous situations happen to “verify” this to the audience and at 17 years old this girl thinks she is in love with this guy and wants to become a vampire and live forever in his world.

    Before the movie I ate an Organic Dark Chocolate bar from Trader Joe’s which is a great chocolate bar but, I felt repeating in the back of my throat as my stomach turned watching this message being fed to these young kids.

    The last time I felt this way was when I watched “Juno” another movie that showed how easy it is to carry a child and just hand it over like it was a bag of red licorice. No regrets the next day ride your bike and play with your friends? Half witted truth to this, there is a lot more to it than the movie portrays but I don’t think it is responsible to show this as being easy to kids, there are many long term consequences to the entire situation.

    The first thing that is disturbing about this movie is how captivated she was with this vampire and the fact that HE could choose anyplace or time span to live and yet he keeps coming back in High School, so technically he is about 300 years old looking to fall in “love” with High School girls.

    The second thing is that this more mature person is able to “show her his world” like some older guy trying to impress a young girl that doesn’t know anything but her own world, seems so competent and strong. It seemed manipulative.

    Third, the girl had an issue with her mom getting remarried and really did not know her dad so she had just moved in with him, so her mother could be happy with her new husband. In addition to this the girl never had any goals about what she wanted to do except make her mother happy by living with her dad so her mother could be with her new minor league baseball player boyfriend. My complaint is that this girl lacked her own identity or self.

    Now that we have it established that she has no goals for herself then she finds one, to be with this vampire guy to whom she is able to verbalize that she wants this feeling “forever” and she wants to make that choice right now.

    This entire thing reminds me of kids that did not feel wanted by their family and ended up with Charles Manson and vowed to love him forever at about this same age. In a world that we have a record amount of screwed up parents, record suicides of teenagers and no adult guidance I think that this kind of answer being fed to them with this story is just a really sick thing. Remember, Charles Manson claimed he had super powers too.
    I can go with Harry Potter and Chronicles of Narnia, but this is just garbage that is marketed to teenagers. Joe the Camel, you just been matched by a story with an equal capacity to destroy someone’s life.

    karla’s last blog post..I am opening a Plumbing School

  • Mo November 24, 2008, 11:25 am

    ugh…haven’t seen the movie yet, and since i TOTALLY trust your opinion- Im not in any hurry now.

    I’ll still see it though 🙂 after the crowds are gone.

  • tinyshrimp November 24, 2008, 12:11 pm

    I actually liked the movie. It wasn’t incredible. It wasn’t something I could watch over and over. It was a teen flick. I went into it knowing it could never live up to the book, and I was right.

    I do agree that they could have made the Cullens look better and that James/Laurent/Victoria trio were much better vampires.

  • Aaron - PCP November 24, 2008, 3:17 pm

    I was really curious as to what your thoughts would be and looked for this all weekend long. Sorry it didn’t live up to your expectations.

  • Sarahh November 25, 2008, 8:23 am

    I KNEW IT!!!!!!!! I am going to go the “Told ya so” route. I never liked him as Edward. Her yes. Him NO.

    But I appreciate the fact you gave it a shot, and saved me 4.50 (Cause I was totally going to wait till it was in BBuster)

    Sweet review!!

  • Melanie November 25, 2008, 5:59 pm

    I don’t plan on seeing the movie. I enjoyed the books way too much to have the movie disappoint me.

  • Kate November 26, 2008, 5:12 pm

    I’m just not into the Twilight books yet. I think it’s because I want to wait until Lexi is old enough to read them, because I don’t want to get sick of them or anything if she becomes obsessed with the series. Knowing how I get obsessed with certain book series, I’m pretty sure she will be. After she’s done the Little House on the Prairie and Harry Potter series, I guess. This post is making me want to do a blog about all the book series I obsessed over as a kid lol

    Kate’s last blog post..On Writing by Anais Nin

  • Marcus November 27, 2008, 8:42 am

    You know, I agree. I ahve read all four copies of the Twilight series to near shreds, and I felt almost guilty about wanting to giggle at this…farce until I realized all the other people in the movie were doing the same. I thought the actor who portrayed Jasper looked like a really coked out Edward Scissorhands. The scene in which Bella and Edward first meet, I couldn’t tell if he was repulsed (as in the novel) by the scent of her blood, or if he was going to be physically ill….I could go on, but you get the point. I do konw that they have signed on for the next installment, so let’s pray they get that one right…otherwise, the other two will go straight to DVD and become hard-to-find cult classics.

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