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Personal Space, You’re Doing It Wrong

(This is something that I wrote back in the day when I took public transportation. With my new job giving metro reimbursement, I might go back to public transportation…Or not…)

In order to save on gas as well as the parking fee in my building, I have gone back to public transportation as of today. Seeing as how it’s been raining nonstop since Saturday night, this was probably a bad idea, considering I waited for the train for 45 minutes when it’s usually there in 5. I figured, “That’s OK. It’s better than sitting in traffic with stupid drivers.”

One thing that I have not missed about public transportation is the lack of personal space. I mean, there’s a certain decorum when you’re on the train. Unless it’s jam packed in there, BE AWARE OF YOUR BODY. You’re supposed to be in control of your body, not let it go like a flag waving in the wind. When the train is turning, it is not acceptable for your entire body weight to be on my foot. It’s not acceptable for your hair to be in my mouth nor your ass to be all up in my crotch. The only thing I want on my crotch is a man’s goodies, alright?

So to the lady that was all up in my business this morning on the train, I just have one thing to say to you. Please remember to step to the left where there’s empty space and stop flipping your friggin hair in my face. So you were hanging on but the rest of your body was all over the place. Was it your first time on the metro or are you just that unaware of your own body? You have a big ass. You have big hair. The train will throw your body all over the place if you don’t plant your feet firmly on the floor. Spread your legs slightly (Unless you forgot how to spread your legs since it’s been so long) and sway gently with the movement of the train instead of being thrown on to me. Your ass does not belong in my face and my feet are not your own personal platform.

As a side note, to the lady on the other side of the train with the backpack that was nearly double her size. Are you friggin kidding me? I was expecting you to get off at the airport because whatever you have packed in there can only be luggage. You didn’t LOOK homeless. Can you not afford locks in your house so you have to lug all of your belongings wherever you go?

Or is it just your personal oompa loompa in the bag?

5/13 addition: Why is it that out of all the empty seats in the metro and all the cute guys, the fattest, smelliest bitch has to come and sit next to me? I don’t want your leg touching mine. I don’t want to be able to count your breathing from your arm rubbing up against mine every time you do. Seriously. Go sit somewhere else. My ass is fat enough. I can’t try to squeeze up against the window to get away from your ass touching mine.

*shiver*

Comments on this entry are closed.

  • Krypto November 7, 2008, 10:29 am

    Oh man, I really forgot about how annoying it was when you had rows full of empty seats and then the weirdest old guy wearing rags dirtier than his dreadlocks with a cross carved in his forhead decides to sit right next to you.

  • justjen November 7, 2008, 10:47 am

    And you have listed exactly WHY I stopped taking public transportation when I worked at Clorox even though we had “our own” train station that dropped us at our building. I couldn’t stand the cattle….mooooo

  • pecosa November 7, 2008, 11:20 am

    I think I’ve taken public transportation only twice in my whole life and I’m extremely thankful for it. We don’t have a metro. Just buses. And the bus stops don’t have shade so that means that the people getting on are going to be sweaty. The only sweat I like on me is my own after a work out and maybe the one of the guy I just had an amazing sack session with.

  • Susan November 7, 2008, 11:51 am

    my main issue with the metro is when I give up my seat for someone older when i was always taught that men should give their seats up first and then younger people. I also hate that men decide they want to take up both seats and spread their legs apart and when you do try to sit next to them they make a HUGE deal out of having to move. Or when they put their briefcase next to the seat and have to now put it on the floor.

    However I normally try to sit when riding on the metro im unbalanced enough with out haveing to try to balance myself next to 39208 other people swaying and falling on me causeing a ripple type effect. them falling on me me falling on someone else. exct.

    Oh also i kinda hate it when people use the pole to support themselves. Im short. I cant really reach the high bar on the celing i need something closer to my hight and i dont like it when people lean against the pole when my hand is there causeing my hand to touch their ass and they look at me when i decide to move it cause i dont want to touch their ass and its like i did it on purpose.

    I dont like rideing on the metro but due to parking costs and gas prices i cant afford not to.

  • Cassie November 7, 2008, 12:53 pm

    I will never take public transportation……I don’t think I could handle having to deal with strangers every day!!!!

  • Jaime November 7, 2008, 5:32 pm

    Some people actually like public transportation.

    They nuts.

    Jaime’s last blog post..Show & Tell Is Up And Running

  • Kate November 7, 2008, 6:51 pm

    I love hearing people having conversations on their cell phones. Just sitting there shouting and whatnot….

    One time on the way to work, I was on the bus and the bus stopped at the hospital, and these two black ladies came on, and one was hanging her head out saying “Now who’s broke, motherfucker?!” (This was in the more “ghetto” section of NJ) and she was going on and on about how this guy apparently was “trying to bust on me because I’m broke; his ass don’t even have money for the bus! He ain’t got a pot to piss in or a window to throw it out of!”

    but if no one ever used public transport then what would PQ have to read all day at work? (Don’t ever be eating something while she IM’s you a quote from overheardinnewyork.com, just a warning to her other readers)

    Kate’s last blog post..The Mouse is not as helpless as you wish to believe

  • yvonne November 9, 2008, 12:15 pm

    Gee, I don’t remember the last time I took public transportation.
    My kids do it all the time. Two live in NYC, It hard keeping up there with gas and parking. Not really needed since they both work in the City it self.

    My oldest use to take the train from NJ to NYC and then walk ten blocks to the NY Film Academy. He lives in California now so he leaves the car parked and take his bike to work.

    For some reason i just don’t like it, but at least it’s not like i have too. If I did that would be a different story. Make sure you buy your coffee first!

    *wink*

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