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Prince Charmin™

I was never the girl that believed in all of the stories of Disney. I grew up reading books and watching Ren & Stimpy, ALF & action movies. It wasn’t until I grew a little older when I started watching Disney movies and started noticing the Prince Charming of every story. We all know Prince Charming…

For every Disney Princess, there was a Prince Charming. Perfect smile, courteous, willing to go to the ends of the earth for his love. Every story had a happy ending and it was OK for us to have those misconceptions when we were little kids but then Prince Charming began to spill over into every romantic movie. Every love story had a Prince Charming of its own and slowly, our views on relationships as a whole began to fit into a mold.

The reality is that no relationship can fit into a mold. There are countless articles in magazines every month on how to please your man and how to make sure that he fits into a mold. There are websites and books devoted to the subject of “Don’t change your man BUT this is what your relationship should be like.” We forget that it’s OK if our relationship can’t be measured by a quiz in a magazine or rules from a TV show.

The way that you and your partner fit together is like a puzzle. Every piece is dependent on who you are and who he is…The little quirks, the experiences you bring with you and your expectations. Your relationship is based on your growth together, the words you bring to the table and the little things that make you smile in a way that makes sense to you. The day you stop comparing your relationship to the expectations of the rest of the world is the day you will be happy and healthy with your partner.

For me? I’d rather have a Prince Charmin™. The kind of guy who’s dependable and soft but sturdy when he needs to be. Someone that I can count on to make me laugh but be there for me in my quiet moments when I need to just be held. I’d rather have the guy who lets me know that he’s there rather than a guy who follows the guidelines of “How to be the perfect boyfriend”. I’d rather have a guy who knows MY quirks and who knows that sometimes I just need to be stupid to forget about my stress…or know that if I am a little afraid of happiness, it’s OK because with patience, I’ll come around.

For me, a relationship doesn’t have to fit into a mold. I don’t have to justify my relationship by putting a label on it because the rest of the world only understand words like “boyfriend”, “roses”, “PDA”, “anniversary”. If it makes sense to me…and it makes sense to him…my happiness only depends on ME, not the rest of the world.

Life is too short to try and have your happiness judged and justified to be validated because while you’re waiting for confirmation from others that you’re happy, you could be missing all the best moments that will define your memories of happiness and love.

So go ahead and indulge in the romantic movies because we all need a little hope and mush in our lives…but remember to take a step back and learn to define who you are…and look for your own Prince Charmin™ who’ll make sure that you are taken care of by YOUR standards.

What works for you in your relationships? What do YOU look for in a partner?

Comments on this entry are closed.

  • Tinyshrimp October 8, 2008, 10:06 am

    I agree with you. There is no such thing as fairytale relationship or Prince Charming. If you have those expectations you are bound to be thoroughly disappointed.

    My relationship at the moment is so new that I can’t really tell you what works, but so far communication is the important thing that we are both working on.

    I want someone that wants the same things out of life as me. Someone that will be there no matter what we are going through. Someone to laugh with, cry with, that will hold me, and love me for who I am.

  • Jaime October 8, 2008, 10:17 am

    Charmin is TOILET PAPER!!!

  • NotAMeanGirl October 8, 2008, 10:21 am

    Amen Amen AMEN! Anytime you think you’ve found “Prince Charming”… think about this… He’s available for you to date because he annoyed the crap out of someone else. EVERYONE has flaws and faults… it’s how they handle them that counts.

  • pecosa October 8, 2008, 10:24 am

    The old movies were so different. The prince charmings were closer to what men are today. They cheated, they lied, blah blah. I remember watching this one movie, can’t remember the name, where the chick started freaking out and the guy slapped her…hard. I was like, w.t.f? Now it’s all roses and chocolates and happy endings. Bleh.

    I want a Brawny type guy. Rugged and able to pick me up from my spills. Hahahaha.

  • Cassie October 8, 2008, 10:33 am

    I don’t need a Prince Charming, but a nice John Holmes every once in awhile would be nice!!! heehehhehehehe

  • Damaris October 8, 2008, 1:27 pm

    I definitely agree with you, Q!!! I think the best relationships are those in which people are loved for who they are and where flaws are seen as opportunities for growth instead of “the list of things I’d like to change about my partner”!

    I believe societal standards account for so much of our feelings of inadequacy. Instead of trying to be happy with who we are and we’re with, we’re told that our circumstances just aren’t good enough, that we need to be in a complete and utter state of euphoric bliss to be happy and content… and for just 3 easy installments of $39.99 it can be achieved! LMAO! Think about it, it’s such clever marketing to make someone believe they’re unhappy in their relationship, give them a standard by which they should be living and loving and then selling them something that will ensure they they too can fit into that specific mold. That’s what all these magazines and self-help schemes feed on… INSECURITY!

    Great post, honey!

    xoxo
    D♥

  • Melanie October 8, 2008, 2:11 pm

    I’m like you, soft and dependable, but strong when necessary.

  • Just Jen October 8, 2008, 3:04 pm

    Amen! I was having this very same conversation with a friend last week as she poured over needing a man to do all those Prince (un)Charming things for her. I had to not-so-gently remind her that HE only exists in fairy tales and is a product of the media. Happily Ever After is what you make it, Prince Charming or not.

    Nice write girl

  • Kate October 8, 2008, 5:13 pm

    I think Disney has a lot to do with why so many women of color have had self esteem issues, because every time you watch a Disney flick, at least when I was a kid, it’s always a pretty white princess with a pretty white prince charming. Probably didn’t help boys of color growing up, either. That alongside with Barbie.

    As Lala likes to say: “I don’t need a knight in shining tinfoil”. I’ve been a very independent woman for quite some time and I need a man who’s secure enough in himself to be able to handle that. Which is why I’ll probably be single for a while before I actually settle down with anyone.

  • F-stop October 11, 2008, 8:05 am

    What you’ve just described is really the very definition of romance–and of being a romantic. It’s different for everyone, of course, but the key is to know yourself and what you want–and never settle for less. You may get hurt, but you can’t give up and suppress that part of you, especially not to please someone else. Bravo.

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