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The New Treatment

On your next visit to your gynecologist, please ask him/her about the “Penis Cream Treatment”. This treatment requires you to put the ointment on the tip of a penis and applied inside your vagina with thrusting motions. The thrusting can be slow or fast depending on the required treatment and the certified technician who will be applying the treatment must time his sessions with a kitchen timer.

This treatment is key if you discover a rash of white spots in or around your vagina. Please contact your local pilot to do the treatment…It should continue for about 9 months…or however long it takes for you to realize that you are, in fact, an idiot.

When you realize that this treatment might not actually be legit, please contact the police and have them arrest the technician on rape charges.

After all, you did not give consent to sex. Only to have him, medically, thrust his penis in and out of your vagina for long period of time. The fact that he ejaculated in your vagina at the end of the sessions was meant as a catalyst for the ointment to work properly.

This treatment was first put into effect in 2007 when a schoolteacher consented to a pilot to apply this treatment for a period of 9 months before she realized that the gynecologist he refers to might be his favorite porn star. She proceeded to have him arrested on rape charges, claiming that the experience was not erotic in any way and he had tricked her into having sex.

I’m not sure what’s scarier. The fact that she didn’t think it was erotic (Which could mean lack of orgasms for 9 months) or the fact that she is a school teacher…as in…she’s molding young minds.

Next time your daughter comes home from school and tells you how her gym teacher helped her apply ointment when she pulled a muscle, please check her vagina immediately and then proceed to get her into special education because her imbecile brain cells clearly outnumber the smart ones.


The Article

I bet she still thinks she’s a virgin…

Comments on this entry are closed.

  • Tinyshrimp September 25, 2008, 10:28 am

    Dumb blonde (yes, I am going to call her that even if we don’t know cuz she has to be blonde to be that dumb)

  • Tinyshrimp September 25, 2008, 10:31 am

    Nine charges of rape….

    One charge for every thrust……..the first thrust was free

  • Kate September 25, 2008, 10:45 am

    Evolution…she’s doin’ it backwardz

  • simply scott September 25, 2008, 10:50 am

    Very cute! I wasn’t sure if this was real or not. Anyone dumb enough to fall for that should not be allowed any legal action. Just go home and write “I’m an idiot and I don’t deserve any pity” 1000 times on a dry erase board.

  • Cassie September 25, 2008, 11:37 am

    HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH

    WHAT A DUMB!!!!!! hahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha

    ON THE OTHER HAND….who was this doctor? you know, for research purposes!! lmao

  • Nic September 25, 2008, 11:55 am

    No way !! lol

  • Pecosa September 25, 2008, 12:23 pm

    What.the.fuck??? Stupid stupid stoopid!!!!

  • Mystery September 25, 2008, 12:34 pm

    OMG. I read about this and could not believe it is actually not that uncommon. I feel sorry for the women, actually, stupid as they seem. The story I read basically said they preyed on women with no support systems, and scared them into thinking this was a cure for an STD or something. I mean, really, is it that hard to get laid? Fuck.

    xo

  • Dre September 25, 2008, 3:58 pm

    Really really really stoopid teacher. Brilliant doctor. ๐Ÿ˜† jkjk

  • Melanie September 25, 2008, 4:12 pm

    OMG! I would be way too embarrassed to be that much of an idiot to go public with that.

  • Ron September 25, 2008, 7:47 pm

    I bet having her for sex ed classes made for really easy exams.

  • mike September 25, 2008, 9:04 pm

    This way beyond scary. The fact that she has is a Teacher indicates at the least a decent amount of formal education. Either she needs to be on anti-psych meds and in a group home, or she perchance might be lying….I can’t believe that ANYONE could be that educated and that stupid!

  • Gin September 25, 2008, 9:29 pm

    What a tard! What the fuck?

  • Cookie September 26, 2008, 6:18 am

    her head obviously is pushing up daisies

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