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WMD in my Pants

That’s right.

Alert Homeland Security.

My pussy turns perfectly good men in to gay men. Well. I guess it’d be a stretch to say that they’re perfectly good men because I have a track record of finding the ex-cons/cons, the damaged, the insecure, the emotionally stuck at 14, the 14 year old girls stuck in grown men’s bodies, etc. Damaged or not, they’re usually fond of the female anatomy when they get to me. Where they go from there is…well, a tragedy for me but maybe a gift for all women around them because it’s better to have a gay shopping buddy than a boyfriend who gripes about how many bags you have that they have to carry.

There are a few theories as to why my pussy might turn men gay, even without touching their pee-pees. Maybe it’s the fact that I call them pee-pees. I mean, some of them turn gay before I even sleep with them. Maybe they put my pussy on such a pedestal, due to the awesomeness of my boobies that they lose all hope for women-kind after failure to touch my goodies so they turn to the next best thing, which is the butt of their best guy friend.

Manly men.

I would say my pussy is gold but my partner of three years stated the obvious when he said “Your pussy isn’t gold! THAT WOULD HURT!”

D’oh.

It is, unfortunately, quite possible that they were a closet gay to begin with and only…only that experience with ME has confirmed their true sexuality.

As we all know, if you want to frolick, you must come out of the closet.

So send your ambiguous male friends my way, especially if they are highly in denial about their sexuality. Trust me. One hour with me and they’ll run out of the closet, burn it down and never look back.

Comments on this entry are closed.

  • On a Limb with Claudia September 24, 2008, 5:37 pm

    Hmm…. Sounds like you’re about ready to meet Mr. Right!

  • Just Jen September 24, 2008, 5:47 pm

    So…you’re the reason Clay Aiken FINALLY came out of the closet

    *bows to the 24K gold of PQ’s pussy*

    (24K gold is soft and maleable)

  • Sorenj September 24, 2008, 5:53 pm

    So you take insensitive, barbarians, and create compassionate gentlemen capable of discerning shades of purple and discussing window treatments… whats not to love!! πŸ˜‰

  • TheHotness September 24, 2008, 5:58 pm

    All hail your pussy!!

  • Kate September 24, 2008, 6:23 pm

    You should add the TIBU comments to this blog; that one dude was hilarious

  • Stina September 24, 2008, 6:42 pm

    LOL. I like the way you write, it makes me giggle πŸ™‚

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