I crave human interaction. Even though I have amazing friends who keep me company emotionally, I need to feel human touch to remind myself that I’m alive. That there’s a light at the end of the road. The emotional and physical black hole that keeps sucking me in during my daily life is only broken by the rare interaction I have with the people that I love in my life. When I was in high school, even if I didn’t want to really talk to anyone, I was surrounded physically by people that cared about me so I never felt alone.
“We’re all lonely for something we don’t know we’re lonely for”
Once I graduated high school and moved to a different state, with all of my friends scattered across the country, and once the excitement of starting college died down, the loneliness washed over me like a midnight tide. I made one good friend who I will always be grateful for because she was there for me whenever I needed her, whether it was to just grab coffee or to escape in her dorm in the middle of the day. The last two years though, I’ve started to feel more alone. Things have happened in my life that’s taken me in such a direction that I am not sure if I have the strength to make it through the day. Emotionally, I do have the best support system but there is still a vital part of me that’s missing.
I crave physical interaction. I miss intimacy.
Right now, there’s one person in my life that I get to see on a semi-regular basis and even if it’s just for an hour, just being close to that person helps.
There is nothing worse than feeling like you’re losing your connection to the world.
I miss the intimacy of laughter and smiles and inside jokes. I miss the hugs and the electricity of the intimacy of friendship.
“Memories are the treasures that we keep locked deep within the storehouse of our souls, to keep our hearts warm when we are lonely.”